Urswine Addiction

The miraculous case of the Lazerus phone

2008-07-01T08:48:00.000-07:00

So a while back I managed to find a killer deal on my favorite phone EVER. I got on Craigslisp and managed to find an xv6700 (it's an older, but still cool, smartphone that has the slideout keyboard, wi-fi, etc) for $60!! So, for the last couple months I've been in total tech-love with it, and have been slowly pimping it out with apps and stuff to make it even more badass...

...and then I, through a total act of dumbassery, dropped it in the toilet (the one bright spot is that the toilet had at least been flushed first). As one would expect with a high-end phone, it was instantly gone. The screen turned black, and it wouldn't respond to anything. It was deader than Hillary's presidential hopes. I even tried taking it apart, letting it dry in the 110 degree Phoenix sun, and putting it back together. Nothing.

This happened at work, so for an entire day I was without any means of communicating with most of the outside world. Being the text-whore that I am, I went through major withdrawals for the first few hours. After that I started to actually enjoy being off of the grid for a bit. I'm so used to being super connected all the time, that it was almost a relief not to be...almost. Then it occurred to me that all of the numbers I'd saved since my last sync (which had been a LONG time ago) were also gone. That was the part that bothered me. I could switch back to my old phone, but not having that stuff kinda sucked.

Then, when I got home from work that night, I pulled the phone out of my backpack, and one of the lights was blinking green! Amazingly enough, the phone was working again! Mostly. The backlight for the screen is still not working, but I get the feeling that's fixable.

Best...concert...EVER!

2008-06-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I know that by gushing about this I'm in serious danger of losing butch points, but whatever...George Micheal RULES.

John, a few friends, and I went to see George Micheal in concert on Sunday night. Now, I'll preface this by saying that I bought tickets for John and I because John's fan-dom of Mr. Micheal verges on restraining order fodder. He totally adores the guy...more because of his singing talent than his 5 O' clock shadow, but still.

I, honestly, wasn't expecting that much...a singing of some classics, and some new stuff...and a fag-tastic audience to be amused by. Things weren't looking good when we had to get our seats re-assigned because the concert didn't sell out. Because of that, the concert started a good 45 minutes after it was supposed to...which left most of the audience grumpy and whiny.

Until he came out on stage, and what a stage it was...

Can you imagine playing Wii on that thing? Holy crap! The swirls of images and colors they put on the screen were matched perfectly to the songs...and that screen just kicks ass anyway...

And then there was the singing...which was pretty much flawless. Seriously.

And then there was just George himself, whipping all of the homos and housewives into a frenzy with his energy and excitement.

If this concert comes anywhere near you...go...see...it. You won't be sorry. (Unless you totally hate him, then just go listen to your Janis Ian records and paint a watercolor or something)

Modern art?

2008-06-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

Na, just an awful reminder of clumsiness. That's what my laptop's screen now looks like after I dropped it. That's what I get for carrying it like an algebra book

Why I'm scared about the upcoming election

2008-06-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

As seems to be the case lately, I'm writing as I fly home from somewhere. This time it was the south. Well, not TRULY the south, but a small town in northern coastal Florida called Titusville. (it's not like I was in Alabama or anything). If there's anything I've come to learn about small towns (southern or otherwise) it's that they're usually filled with sweet, genuine people who would give you the shirt off their backs. Those same people, however, are often deathly afraid of change...not to mention the unfamiliar. Now, before anyone who's from a small town starts firing off hate mail, I know that what I've said is a generalization that isn't necessarily true of everyone in said bergs.

But one startling example of this was brought to the fore when I made the mistake of talking politics with someone I thought was somewhat progressive in his world view. After all, he's more than ok with gay folks, and seems to have a live-and-let-live attitude for the most part.

Anyway, I started out by asking him what he thought about the upcoming election. He mentioned favoring McCain, which made me ask what would make him a good candidate. He wasn't really able to come up with any true positives...and then paused to ask me

"Well, you're not gonna vote for that ni**er, are you?"

After I'd collected my jaw off the floor, I explained that, yes, I was going to vote for the most viable and intelligent candidate...which in my opinion is Obama. He went on to spew rediculous vitriol about how "they" were gonna be blasting rap music in the white house and trying to take everything from the wealthy white folks and give it to the black folks. (Can you tell he's a republican?)

I found myself raising my voice and getting angry when he started blaming the democratic congress for our current economic quagmire. I explained that if his buddies in the white house, and the previous republican congress, hadn't de-regulated the banking industry then we wouldn't have had the sub-prime loan quagmire that led us here.

It only got worse from there, especially when his girlfriend joined in with even less informed wild ideas about a black president...who she still thinks is muslim. I tapered off the conversation, and made a mental note to NEVER discuss politics with said individuals again. EVER.

More than anything, all this showed me that those of us who consider ourselves progressives, and want to see Obama elected, have a VERY uphill battle to fight to het him there. I had hoped that most of our country might be ready to move on and put someone of color in the white house, but I'm still a bit unsure of that.

Time vs. money

2008-06-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

Being an airline employee, I have the truly great benefit of being able to fly pretty much anywhere I want to. Which, given the current state of gas prices, (combined with my extreme cheapness), means I'm willing to fly from Phoenix to Tucson and back.

That I even have this option is fantastic...but it does have it's drawbacks. As I wrote this I was sitting in a broken airplane on the tarmac in Tucson, waiting to find out if the "fault code" that our #2 engine was giving the pilots was something that could be more or less ignored until we got to Phoenix. Yeah, that idea scares me as much as it would any of you, believe me. But, given that I was flying as a guest on another airline, I don't feel like I have the right to bitch.

Well, it turned out that the broken engine on the plane was more of an issue than was originally thought. Moments after I wrote the last paragraph, all of the passengers on said aircraft were uncerimoniously herded back out into the main terminal, where our fate would be determined by one of the customer service folk...who were suddenly inundated with an angry mob who had places to be.

And it's here that I started to contemplate the true nature of my situation. To save money, I had decided to fly to Tucson and back...but it wound up costing me far more in time. So I began to wonder...which, ultimately, is more important? Time or money?

In flying, I saved a good $40 in gas...but spent a good 4 or 5 hours round trip more than I otherwise might have. Now, it was my day off...and I didn't have a lot on my plate...but would the extra few hours spent with my family and friends have been worth that $40? Not to mention the saved frustration of dealing with airplane delays? After all, if time is money, then what's money worth?

Or, more to the point, what are those extra hours and frustration in dealing with the usual hassles of flying (security, etc) worth in a monetary value? So I guess my question is this...would you have flown (provided it was free, but possibly riddled with hassles) or driven (and spent the $40)?

Don't call it a comeback...

2008-06-10T08:53:00.000-07:00

..but here I am trying to get back into the swing of blogging again. You would think with all that's been going on in my life lately, that blogging would be easy to do. Lots to talk about, and all that. But it always seems when I have the most interesting things going on in my life is usually the same time that I end up not having enough time to write any of it down.

So now here I am trying to get back into it, and asking myself, do I bother playing catch up on all the stuff that's happened since my last entry? (yeah, I know, it was before gas went over $3 a gallon) Or do I just start clean, telling all the stuff that's new and now? So I guess I will attempt to do a little bit of both.

When I have fun new stuff to talk about, I'll blog about that...if I don't, then I'll go all retro and talk about anything that's happened in the ages since last I posted.

Movin on up...

2008-04-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

...to the west side...of Phoenix.

Well, since the last time I updated a few things have happened. So it's time to play catch up. And I figure since I don't want my usual instinct to blather on for several paragraphs about the mundane details of it all to take over, I'll sum it up neatly with bullets!

So, since last I wrote:

-I transferred with the job up to Phoenix (and noticed that I have decidedly more hot co-workers up here than Tucson).

-I moved in with my best buddy Perry (while I'm looking for a good place up here to dwell).

-I attended PHX pride with my friend Sean (and discovered he has a hidden talent for dying someone's hair into the rainbow flag...no not mine)

-I've started learning my way around the city (and have come to realize the advantages of having a functioning freeway system...ahem...I'm talking to you, Tucson urban planners)

-I've been fighting with my laptop to get it to connect wirelessly to secured networks (and have just about gotten on a first name basis with the staff at the Apple store)

-I've taken to using parentheses (more than I probably should)

So that's the latest on my end. Now that I have my wireless working again, I'll do my best to keep up a little more. (And use parentheses a little less)

So that's the latest as of right now.

Uh-oh...I think I'm a convert.

2008-03-27T12:47:00.000-07:00

No, no...I'm not thinking of jumping the sexuality fence and starting to ogle boobies...nor am I thinking of getting religion. (Sounds like getting typhoid or something, doesn't it?)

No, today I think I've been converted from a non-nap person to a snoozer. I usually abhor naps because they seem like a colossal waste of time from which I always wake groggy and disoriented.

But I took one today...and it was fantastic. I think this may be the beginning of a trend...

At what point does technolust...

2008-03-26T09:44:00.000-07:00

...become something for which you need a techno-restraining-order for?

Ok, ok...so I'm exaggerating just a little, but take a good look at the Xperia phone and tell me you wouldn't do dirty, awful things to get your hands on it.

It's a Windows mobile 6 phone with a bad-ass touchscreen user interface AND slide out qwerty keyboard. And...well...it's just purdy.

My one major problem with it is that it's made by Greedy...er, Sony(/Erickson)...whose DRM and proprietary software meddling usually hobbles every great device they make.

It's just as well, I suppose...otherwise I'd be dropping a paycheck to get my grubby paws on it.

Reason # 4,568 that I'm an Athiest...

2008-03-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

...is that religious people just don't seem to know when NOT to try a sales pitch.

This morning I had cause to set foot inside a church for probably the first time in nearly 4 or so years. And I'm not a religious bigot, I swear I'm not...but every time I'm in the presence of devoutly religious people I seem to grow less and less tolerant of some of their behavioral traits.

I was in said church for a wake. For the first half of it, it was a very pleasant remembrance of my wonderful grandmother who passed last month. Some very moving words were said about her by her son (my dad) and a few others....and memories were shared.

Then the priest stepped in for his portion, and it somehow turned from a fond farewell to Nancy...to the Catholic version of Amway. Yes, he said his kind words about her and her family...but then started to meander into unwelcome territory.

He managed to fit in a few delightful messages about how the best way to serve god was to get married and have kids....and how the Jews have the wrong idea when it comes to having closeness to god.

There's nothing like a little subtle heterosexism and antisemitism to dress up a funeral.

Oh well, at least the corned beef and cabbage lunch we had after was nice...though I promised myself that for the sake of those around me I will NEVER have cabbage again. Just ask anyone who was near me at the gym today why.

2008-03-01T11:13:00.000-08:00

Hee hee...

Smut that'll make you giggle

2008-02-26T00:17:00.000-08:00

So it's probably bad form to shamelessly promote someone else's blog on your own, but I would feel entirely remiss in not sharing this little gem with both of you that still read my blog.

For anyone who has ever perused the adult "networking" sites out there like BigMuscle.com, ManHunt.net, and ComeSchtuppMeNow.org, (yeah, just try and pretend like you haven't) I'm sure there have been a great many times when you browsed through the pictures on someone's profile and came upon that one photo that was not only a deal killer, but made you wonder if that person actually LOOKED at said pic before posting.

It may not even have to do with the person themselves, or even what they're wearing...it might just be the hideous surroundings they decided to place themselves into when showing off their naughty bits. And if you, like I, not only found the humor but felt compelled to share it with friends for entertainment value...then I have the perfect site for you.

So, skip the endless perusing and go right for the ridicule-fodder on Lurid Digs (WARNING: NSFW) where you not only will see perfect gems like this...

Yes, that IS a man...and no it isn't Rod Stewart...is it?

...but will find harsh and scathing commentary from the staff that'll leave you giggling. Yeah, I know, it's mean-spirited...but man, is it ever funny.

Do I still get to keep my card?

2008-02-25T20:02:00.000-08:00

I have to admit to being a really bad homo last night. No, not the kind of bad that requires a prescription for penicillin and/or a bail bond. No, I'm talking about the kind of offense that would actually GET a gasp from the average gay guy...and a possible de-listing from their "top 8" on MySpace. Yes, that's right...I'll admit it...I totally didn't watch the Oscars last night. Not only did I not watch them, but I honestly didn't even care that I missed them.

Now, before anyone out there rounds up a posse (complete with pink pitchforks and sparkly torches...hee hee) I have to say that I WAS doing something utterly gay...working out at the gay-est LA fitness in all of Arizona.

And, in my defense, I read something about this being the least watched Oscars EVER.

I guess not everyone heard that the writer's strike was off, eh? Though, given the caliber of groaners they usually write for that thing, maybe that's WHY no-one watched.

Holy cookfest, batman!

2008-02-12T07:27:00.000-08:00

In the interest of trying to save money and eat just a little healthier, I've been trying lately to get into the habit of making meals for the week. It's really quite handy to be able to just pop something in the microwave and grub it down instead of either heading out to score some greasy, over-salted take-out, or (god forbid) actually making something.

The other thing that's really good about it is that it helps keep me on track in terms of my caloric intake. Those of you that know me, know that I do a slight bit o tossing of the iron at the gym (when I'm not tossing overweight luggage at work). All that tossing (yes there's a joke there somewhere, but I'll let you make your own) tends to mean that if I want to be a growin boy, I needs to eat...alot.

So, last night I made lots of chicken. Chicken stir-fry, Parmesan chicken, roasted chicken, etc. All of which means I'll be seriously craving some beef about mid-way through the week (heh...I'll let you make your own joke there too).

My only dislike about all this? I'm a messy cook. When I make that many meals, the kitchen usually looks like an F5 food tornado hit it...hard. Which means the cleanup takes 3 times as long as the cooking. *sigh* Anyone wanna volunteer to clean up for me next time? Theres a piece of Parmesan chicken in it for you. :)

Yeah...I'm lazy...

2008-02-10T08:04:00.000-08:00

Well, it's really about time I got back into the full swing of this. I've used many an excuse, but the reality is that I've gotten lazy.

It's funny how much easier it is to peruse BMB than to do something that actually requires active involvement from my brain. *sigh* But I suppose the internet can be a bit like television in a way. One can choose to watch Spike TV in all of its CRASH!BANG!SMACK! guilty-pleasure-glory...or one can watch Discovery and try to learn a few things.

Though I usually try to opt for the former, at the end of a long day (or week) at work sometimes I just feel like a little entertainment.

Seriously?!?

2008-01-27T12:50:00.001-08:00

So my gym finally put some money into re-decorating the place. But, unfortunately, this is the color they decided on for the weight room. Squished smurf, anyone?

Life without a computer sucks.

2008-01-17T08:51:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I know it's been a REALLY long time since my last update, but I promise I totally have a good excuse to give to those of you who still bother to look at my poor little blog thingy. You see, it's pretty hard to blog without the use of a computer or internet connection. Why, in this day and age would someone be without such accouterments, you ask?

Well, I'm glad you asked...(ok, so you didn't, but I'm telling you anyway)...

...a while back, I took a trip to go visit family and friends in Phoenix. The trip was nice, at least until I got into a rather irritating and unfortunate argument over the phone on the way home. I tell you that to preface my mindset heading into the events yet to come.

So, flustered and aggravated, I finally reached home and couldn't wait to go inside to unwind and unpack. I set my bag and a few other random things I was carrying with me down on the porch, and slid the key into the lock, unlocked it, and went to turn the knob...which was locked. I should now include the detail that the knob is never something we lock, or even carry a key for. My first thought was that I'd been an idiot and, while leaving the house prior, had locked the knob on my way out. So my mind started to race to think of how I was going to get in.

Locksmith? It'd take too long, and I don't know that they'll even open a front door if you can't prove you live there (my license still has my old address on it)

Pry a window? A possibility...I started around the side of the house to see what might be best option for that idea, not really thinking of the fact that the overhead light was on, which I had turned off...and saw that the blinds in our office were splayed open...and a pair of paintings that we STILL haven't hung up were propped against the hallway.

John was out of town this whole time, so my first thought was that he'd surprised me by coming home early...and was maybe doing some cleaning or something. When I came around to the back door of the office, I saw that it was wide open. Oddly, my computer, and a few odds and ends were sitting next to the door...like they were...about...to...walk.......out........

Call me dense, or maybe it was because my mind was a little clouded from the argument that I'd just finished having over the phone, but it took me this long to finally realize what was going on. Finally realizing it, however, I ran into the house and started yelling in the most butch voice I could muster..."GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE...NOW!" over and over again as I ran from room to room trying to make sure none of the thieves were still inside. I swear I must have looked like Mel Gibson's character in "Signs" when trying to chase off what he thought were pranksters.

When my blood pressure finally came back to normal human levels, I called the police, and started to take inventory of what was gone.

Among the many things those worthless bastards made off with was our wireless router and the other computer. They'd have actually gotten away with the my computer (and countless other things), had I not come home right in the middle of their theft-fest.

So, needless to say, without the router I've been without internet for some time now. So I have to make guest appearances on other people's wireless networks for now to do my blogging, etc.

Despite this, I'm going to do my best to keep up with things again, and restore my life to normalcy of some kind. So thanks again to those of you still checking in on me from time to time, I promise not to fall of the face of the Earth as much anymore.

What rednecks do with their inheritence money...

2007-12-14T07:56:00.000-08:00

A while back John and I went to Phoenix to go to a good friend's housewarming party shindig. This particular friend tends to be quite the overachiever when it comes to...well...pretty much anything. As such, he wanted everything to be perfect for the party.

Unfortunately, he also has currently a whole lot on his plate, so when it came time for the party to be about ready to start, he still had a million little things he wanted to finish. Knowing he was likely freaking out about getting things done, I asked if we could do something to help. He asked if we would be kind enough to swing by a store of some kind and grab an X-mas tree stand.

Which leads us to the picture and title of this post. We pulled into the K-mart parking lot and saw this...

Which pretty much made our night! Here was a jacked-up 50's school bus that this colorful pair of rednecks were charging admission to ride around the K-mart parking lot in. Big dorks that we are, we were fascinated by seeing it tear around, burning TONS of fuel and, I'm sure breaking a few noise ordinances.

I think I want one. Even if the guy said it got something like a half mile to the gallon.

LA trippin', part 2: Culture me!

2007-12-07T06:58:00.000-08:00

Lest you get to thinking that we're simple-minded rednecks who only get joy from suped-up cars and beer busts, allow me to correct you. We don't drink.

Seriously, though John and I do actually enjoy attending museums that have things of cultural or historic importance in them. After the beer busts and car shows, that is. This time we finally made it to the Getty with our buddy Dan...who is an artsy guy himself. As such, I think we both enjoyed it a little more than John did.

We went to the Getty Villa, which was mostly ancient statues and artifacts. Since I've always been kind of fascinated by Greek statues and art, I was happy to be there. I sometimes wonder if my appreciation for the Greek stuff stems from the blatant homo-eroticism so much of it contains. Which makes me wonder if I should feel so cultured after all if I'm going there for high-brow smut.

I can't remember, but I think the name of the woman who took this picture for us was Ilean.

Me proving that I really don't know what to do with my hands during a picture.

Yes, that IS what you think it is on the front of this odd statue...why is it there? You tell me.

Is it wrong to think that the guys portrayed in a several thousand year old mosaic are hot?

LA trippin', part 1: The Cars!

2007-12-06T07:49:00.000-08:00

Vanna bear shows off a cute new glorified golf cart AND his guns at the same time!

Being that John and I are pretty much car nuts, the main reason for our trip to LA was to see the auto show. The weekend we went was the last of it. In fact, we didn't make it there until Sunday, which was the last day of it.

We had alot of fun wandering the various showrooms and looking at some of the new models. My one frustration was that there weren't very many outrageously outlandish concept cars there. I'd been watching coverage of the Tokyo auto show, and had seen some of the neatest stuff Japan's finest could dream up...and didn't really see anything in LA that compared.

Not that there weren't any concept cars to be had, but most of them were kind of a yawn. Models that could very easily see production right now and not make that much of an impact if you saw them driving down the street.

Regardless, fun was had by all...and many pictures were taken. If you want to see more photos, you can see them here.

The new Chevy Volt. As the name might indicate, it's electric! (Boogie-woogie-woogie)

The newest Lambo sled to make you wish you could multiply your salary by about 15.

Something a little more in my price range (but, unfortunately, not size)...the adorable Smart Four Two.

John looking either pensive or famished...I'm not sure which it was at that point.

Billie Jean is NOT my lover.

2007-11-28T07:53:00.000-08:00

The thing about flying non-rev (for free, but always standby) is that sometimes you have to make some extremely weird routing to get where you want to go. This past weekend, for example, we wanted to get to LA. But all the flights out of Tucson to LA (and to pretty much everywhere else) were full.

As such, we had to fly to Albuquerque so that we could make it to LA. Which was kind of a pain in the ass...but had we not routed that way, we never would have seen this...

It was plastered right outside the bathrooms in the terminal. You'll have to click on it to better see all the detail...but it was an ad for a gay retirement community in Santa Fe.

Notice the cuddling hot tub guys in the upper right hand corner...and the harsh portrait of Billie Jean King toward the middle.

John and I giggled about that poster for a good half hour.

Just back...

2007-11-27T07:53:00.000-08:00

We just got back last night from a trip to LA to see the auto show. It was a good time, and lots of car-related pictures were taken. We also went to the Getty, where lots of statue-related pictures were taken. I still need to go through said pictures and shrink them down for normal consumption, so anticipate a post about all this in the near future complete with photos.

But if I wait until all that is done, I'll let posting slip by for another few days...and I need to get out of that habit.

Now it's time to head to the gym and make up for a week's worth of playing hookie. Being sick can take the motivation out of ya, you know.

Just a coincidence?

2007-11-19T11:30:00.000-08:00

I hadn't really thought about it, until I read a post on Moby's blog the other day...about how he gets all emotional when he's ill...I think I'm the same way to a certain degree. I've always been one of those people who tends to get a little grumpy and short when I'm sick, but I always just chalked that up to being angry about not operating at maximum capacity. There's nothing more frustrating than wanting to go on about your daily life (working out, working, the simple act of talking and not sounding like an emphysema patient) while you feel weak as a kitten and are coughing up parts of your respiratory system.

But I got to thinking about it yesterday. I think it's more than just being being angry that I'm ill and feel like an invalid. I think there's something about being ill that knockes me down to a lower spot on Maslow's pyramid. (Thank you Glenn....your post contributed to this too) Feeling like I'm gonna die if I cough one more time tends to put me somewhere between the "Basic Needs (Survival) " level and the "Safety Needs (Comfort)" level. I don't know about you, but I tend to feel like I need some base-level reassurances when I'm in that kind of state.

Which is kinda unfortunate when your husbear is outta town on business. I say all this as a set up for yesterday. I was missing him, as he's been gone since Wednesday. And, because of maybe being in a more-needy-than-usual mental state, I was feeling a little blue about it.

So, cut to me shopping at the Sunflower grocery store. I was shopping for some hummus and chips to take to our friend Scott's, as he was having a get-caught-up-on-Heroes gathering with a few friends. I thought it might distract me and give me something else to think about.

So, I walk into the store, and the first thing I hear is a song I know only from knowing John..."Fooled Around and Fell in Love". (Though, admittedly, it was the lame Rod Stewart remake, and not the original Elvin Bishop version John had introduced me to.)

Thinking that a little odd, I tried to tune it out of my mind. Only to have another song I know of only from John come across the PA. (I can't for the life of me remember right now which one, though).

Thinking again how strange it all was, I rounded the corner and saw a guy walking towards me wearing one of John's all time favorite shirts. It's a gray ringer-T that has a picture of an 80's conversion van on it and the text "Waiting Room of the Love Doctor!" in a decidedly retro style encircling the van. Except it was practically hanging off of this guy, not skin-tight like it is when John wears it. I think it might even have been the same size as John's...but the guy was just really skinny and didn't fill it out nearly as well.

This just took the absurdity to a new level, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes and laugh out loud. Unfortunately, the guy in John's shirt saw this, and looked VERY puzzled as did his girlfirend. He grabbed her hand and sort of did one of those "get behind me, honey...this guy's freakin' me out" maneuvers, and they hurriedly strutted past. I almost thought about speaking up to explain, but I knew it would have made me sounds ten times as crazy as they probably already thought I was.

I laughed again (this time on the inside) and headed off to find the right chips.

Like I need an excuse, right?

2007-11-18T07:53:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm starting to feel a little better in terms of the cold thing. Maybe the fact that I've taken enough vitamin C, zinc, elderberry, and echinacea to take down an elephant-sized virus is helping. Regardless, I've so far taken today as my bump-on-a-log day. I'm totally using it as an excuse to sit about in my underwear and play on the web. :)

2007-11-17T05:52:00.000-08:00

One of the few nice things about waking up hella early....

ahh-ahh-ahh-CHOOOO!

2007-11-16T10:55:00.000-08:00

What is it with this time of year? Why is it that with the change in the seasons and the weather everyone always gets sick? It sometimes amazes me that we've been able to not only survive, but actually prosper, on this planet given how fragile of creatures we can sometimes be. Even the biggest and strongest among us can be taken down by some microscopic little thing.

So yeah...here I sit with my zinc lozenges, box of tissues, and vitamin C. I sound like the love child of Greta Garbo and Jack Nicholson, and look (as John would so eloquently put it) like hammered shit. It's times like these that I wish I had a means of fast forwarding to the stage when I'm over all this. Cause absolutely NOTHING is fun when you're sick...least of all, work!

Houston, we have a sunburn.

2007-11-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

While we were in Florida, I was lucky enough to get to see the shuttle launch as well. From what I understand, there are only a limited number of launches left that are scheduled to take place. Beyond that, their program has a bit of a murky future.

I guess I can understand that people nowadays have different priorities when it comes to how our tax dollars are spent. It seems to me, however, that blasting a few lucky folks into space to learn more about the universe we live in is alot more productive use of my money than shipping thousands of un-lucky young Americans off to get injured or killed in a foreign land that just so happens to have oil resources. But I suppose that's a topic for another type of blog entry.

In the meanwhile, look at the pretty pictures of the launch!

The crowd forming in anticipation of the launch...later they'd form a line at Walgreens looking for Aloe Vera gel.

A picture of someone taking a picture of the initial blastoff.

Someone in the crowd said they could see the boosters separating. I could barely see that there was something in front of all that smoke.

Look! Up in the sky! It's a...um...smoke plume.

Looks kinda pretty, don't it?

Johnny bear and the giant biker sausage!

2007-11-14T07:05:00.000-08:00

I can't be the only person who finds that just a little bit suggestive.

Awww...don't he look cute?

One of the main things that John and I were planning on during our trip to Florida was the "Biketoberfest" that happens every year in Daytona. In fact, it was sort of what we'd planned our trip around. Not that we're huge bikers, mind you, but we do enjoy a good ride from time to time (on motorcycles...keep your mind out of the gutter). And we enjoy, almost as much, the people-watching opportunities that these type of events can provide (read: sometimes there can be hot biker dudes to ogle...and sometimes they ogle back!)

A good view of how busy the street was (and of the fairly hot guy in the forefront of the pic).

One of the cool things about visiting Florida is that John's dad lives only an hour or so away from Daytona, and has several Harleys for us to ride up to the festivities. Which is good, cause I don't think any airline would be accommodating enough to let us check our motorcycles for the flight there.

This is what happens when you let rednecks with too much time on their hands get ahold of a 12-pack and an arc-welder.

We'd been to Bike Week in Daytona in the early part of this year, and came to realize that the Biketoberfest was just pretty much a scaled-down version of it...sort of marking the end of good riding weather for many northern visitors. But there were still choppers aplenty, rednecks in enough tacky leather to make an IML competitor blush, lots of places to buy beer, and more this-makes-me-look-tough-dammnit facial hair growth than you could shake that proverbial stick at. In fact, the only thing that reminded me that we were at a bike-fest and not some big gay street fair was the occasional nearly naked biker-tart slinging drinks to the already stumbling masses.

I'm still trying to figure out what theme he was going for...but at least he carried it through to his helmet!

Poor, neglected blog...

2007-11-07T08:26:00.000-08:00

Well, I think it's official, I've now set a new record for longest time between posts! Where do I pick up my trophy and sash?

Suffice it to say that life's been more than a little hectic lately, which has made blogging not nearly the priority that it used to be. Several potentially life-changing events have occurred recently that have been at the fore-front of my focus. Not the least of which is the possibility of John and I needing to move. (No, we're not bad tenants, or getting evicted for the loud moans coming from our make-shift dungeon...just the management where we live have come up with a few new rules that would make staying where we are very inconvenient).

So, sadly, posting to my poor little neglected blog has been lower on the priority totem-pole. But, that's not to say that I'm giving up on it at all. I fully intend to get caught up on posting about several things that've happened over the past few weeks, and staying a tiny bit more up to date in the future.

Regardless, thanks to those of you who have the patience to keep coming back to check in on the goings-on in my world. You guys make it worthwhile to keep posting!

Is that 'lobster' red?

2007-10-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

Welcome to sunny Florida! Next time remember your sunscreen.

Totally awesome 80s night! (with a little gay pride thrown in for good measure)

2007-10-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has ever lived in a smaller city knows that pride events in said cities can often times be a little lacking. It seems like you pay whatever the ridiculous cover charge is, (this year it was $15!) simply so you can be forced to buy over-priced carnival food and stand in line for a half hour to buy a 12 oz beer that costs $5, while perusing the overpriced niche-market goods. (Need a rainbow beach towel? Or an outfit for your chihuahua with a pink triangle somehow stitched onto it?) Essentially it always ends up turning into mostly an all-day beer-bust that just so happens to be in a park instead of a bar.

Despite all this, John and I decided to go ahead and head out to the park on Saturday. Part of that decision was based on the fact that Expose (you know...Seasons Change...Point of No Return...etc) was gong to be performing. Which any true 80's nut (ahem...John) would be all about. I won't lie and say I wasn't excited about seeing them too, but given that I was still in elementary school when their music was at it's most popular, I couldn't have quite the same appreciation.

The performance was good, and it was made even more entertaining when our local mother-of-all-drag-queens Aja Simone got up on stage and started doing all of Expose's dance moves with them. There were times when it looked like SHE was the performer...and they were her back-up singers.

So after that it was on to The Loft (Tucson's local art-house theater type place) for what was called The Totally Awesome 80's Sing-along). Essentially what happened was that they showed a series of four 80's music videos by a specific artist after which they'd have a commercial break. The commercial break was filled with all the cheesy, poorly acted schlock-fests that you remember from 80's advertising. (Remember the kiss-a-thon ads from Big Red? Or the Doublemint Twins? My Little Pony?)

After the music videos portion, there was a dance-off/costume contest. Then it was onto singing along to your favorite 80's TV-show themes (Facts of life, Charles in Charge, Golden Girls, etc). Then musical montages from 80's movies like Dirty Dancing, Fame, Flashdance and Footloose. (I think there were some other letters of the alphabet represented too, I just can't remember which).

Oddly enough, the $5 80's sing-along was every bit as gay as, and a little bit more fun than, the $15 pride event. I guess it just goes to show that sometimes it's the little things that go a long way toward making an event enjoyable.

2007-10-09T17:02:00.000-07:00

The view from my "office"

2007-10-09T02:44:00.001-07:00

Particularly pretty sunset I saw the other day at work.

Hot! Hot! Hot!

2007-10-08T13:55:00.001-07:00

So the other day John, while perusing the part of Craigslist that ISN'T filled with random body parts asking to have untoward things done to them, ran across an 80 gig Ipod for $140. I have an Ipod already, but it's a 30 gig...and, believe it or not, I've already filled it beyond maximum capacity. So the idea of trading up for less money than I paid for the old one (which was also found on Craigslist, by the way) certainly appealed.

But, as with any good deal, not everything seemed 100% right. For one, the Ipod wasn't in any stand alone listing, but rather part of a "yard sale" type ad that included alot of other random stuff.

Secondly, we had to drive down to Green Valley (about 40 miles south of Tucson) to check it out. That, in and of itself, wasn't bad, but the guy pretty much blew off the idea of giving us directions, instead giving us the address, and telling us to google map it. I'm all well and good with using technology to it's fullest, but you'd think a person would know how best to get to their own house from the freeway.

Anyway, so we drove down, found the street, and located houses on one side of the street with 1751 and 1753 addresses, but across the street (where his address of 1750 should have been) was an apartment complex. Since we were given no unit number, we called the guy back. He told us to drive into the apartment complex, drive all the way to the back, and we'd find 1750.

We did...and it was the office for said apartment complex. And they looked at us like we were absent a chromosome when we asked about the Ipod for sale. We called back again, and the guy said he didn't like the managers of the complex, and didn't want to do the sale in front of them. He told us to drive up to the sidewalk in front of the last building before you exit the complex, and he'd send someone out with the item.

By now I was not only irritated but flabbergasted. Could anyone actually be THIS incredibly horrible at giving directions? Or was he being intentionally vague and mysterious for a reason? I was actually genuinely worried a little about this being some elaborate robbery scheme, as the "seller" would know that the buyer would be showing up with cash in hand. But by this time, after all that we'd done to get here, I was willing to at least see this through.

So out trots a 15 year old kid with the Ipod and a pair of headphones. This was most certainly NOT who we'd talked to on the phone about the sale. Knowing this had to be the guy's nephew or son, I took a look at the Ipod, saw that it actually WAS what it was supposed to be...and that it played music successfully. Finally, I told the kid we'd take it, but asked about the USB cable that was advertised to come with it. He said it was upstairs in the apartment, and he would have to have the money in hand before he returned with it.

After all of the shady phone dealings and vagueness, this kid had the nerve to imply he thought that WE were the ones that were untrustworthy in the situation. I also wondered momentarily what possible angle could be worked from this new wrinkle to somehow rob us blind, steal our car, and leave our charred bodies somewhere in the desert. Deciding there weren't too many, and I just wanted to buy the Ipod and get the hell out of there, I forked over the money. Shortly the kid returned with the cord, and we were on our way.

I left the dealings feeling lot more dirty and shady than I really care for (and that's saying something). Buying an electronic entertainment device shouldn't really feel like a drug deal. I was also left wondering "what, exactly, just happened?".

So, dear readers, you tell me...did I just buy some hot merchandise, or am I just misinterpreting due to paranoia? In other words, WHOSE Ipod will I be listening to at the gym later?

I want a Tonka truck!

2007-10-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

If anyone was wondering what I'd like for X-mas this year (you know, aside from world peace and all that) this bad-ass little truck from Suzuki (called an X-Head) would work for sure!

The review says: "This Tonka toy-looking concept maximizes versatility by using different beds for different purposes. A camper bed would make it a recreational vehicle, while its Fashion bed lets you cart people around the city. It also has a bed intended for emergency rescue work."

I think I like the idea of the camper bed for...you know...fun time. I mean it has tie down notches under all that somewhere...you know it does.

Not so well traveled after all

2007-10-04T09:00:00.001-07:00

I went and did one of those silly "where have you been" websites. (No, you pervs..."what physical locations have you visited", so not BMB) Turns out that I really haven't been that many places after all.

Of our 50 states, I've only visited a mere 27% (14 of them). You'd think a guy with free flight benefits would have seen a little more of the country by now. LOL

And when it comes to the world in general...

I've only seen 3%! (7 countries).

*Sigh*

Looks like I have some traveling to do!

***Update***
So John reminded me of a few that I'd forgotten about...apparently my Alzheimer's is kicking in early. So the new tally is 16 states, 31% (and I don't count anywhere that I've simply driven through...I have to have spent a little time there...other than in a hotel room).

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

Fur n' fangs instead of leather and chains

2007-10-02T09:30:00.001-07:00

John pretending to be a mountain lion, Kevin pretending not to see him do it.

So is that the otter equivalent to sucking one's thumb while sleeping?

For a number of reasons, John and I didn't end up making it to Folsom this year. Though we had a really good time last year, and would've liked to have hung out with Moby while seeing it, it just wasn't in the cards this time around.

The three amigos...and one tired donkey.

Since we were in town, our buddy Kevin from Atlanta came to visit for the weekend. We wound up taking him to see Nogales, Sonora and the Desert Museum here in Tucson. It was his first time ever in Mexico, and his first time seeing a good number of the desert critters that the museum has to offer.

He even manages to accessorize his sombrero with his facial hair color!

Though I'm not sure that Nogales is anything that one would necessarily be impressed by, fun was still had by all. The Desert Museum, however, Kevin seemed to really like. And I can't say as I blame him. I feel like I learn something new every time I go to that place. And I've been there alot. Maybe that just means I need to pay better attention when I'm there one of these times.

I added the names, cause that's exactly what John does when I'm on the scale at the gym.

Pretty but don't try to pick em.

This looked to me like something you'd see in the concept art for Monsters Inc.

BTW, if you'd like to see any of the other pics I took while we were at the museum, you can see them here.

2007-10-01T22:53:00.001-07:00

As an added bonus, here's a picture of John looking high style in his Victoria Beckham shirt and glasses!

So i just set up

2007-10-01T22:47:00.001-07:00

So i just set up mobile blogging, and can now blog from my phone....I think. This will act as my test-blog, so we'll see how it goes!

Fall has...uh...fallen?

2007-09-25T10:26:00.000-07:00

The weather here in Tucson is finally starting to turn just a bit. We're getting days where our high is in the low 90s, instead of being over 100 every day. And some of the humidity of the monsoon season had left us too (so I don't come home from work nearly as sweat-drenched now). So I guess fall is here.

But what's signaling the arrival of a new season for me is not so much what the outside conditions are like, but more how people's attitudes seem to be shifting a bit. At work, I've been noticing a feeling that I'm just going through the motions. Travel is a little slower, and that means less work for us, generally speaking. I was a little worried that maybe it was just me getting bored at work, but I noticed most of the other guys seem to be feeling the same way.

So what is it about seasonal changes that seems to shift people's attitudes? Is it some sort of post-summer/pre-holiday season funk that we all fall into, knowing this will be the last time we really get to relax until January? Is it just the nicer weather making us all want to be outside, enjoying it? Is it some sort of ion-charge difference brought on by all the wind that usually comes this time of year? Or is it just that we're all driven by some ancient mammalian instinct to start settling down for hibernation?

Or maybe I'm making too much of all this, and you guys have no idea what I'm blathering on about.

I now pronounce you taking extremely small steps toward acceptance

2007-09-21T10:02:00.000-07:00

The other night, after my workout (no there weren't any examples of hot beefcake there then, either) John and I decided last minute to go see a movie. I'd looked up the movies prior just in case we made said decision, and knew that the only thing on at that hour was a 9:50 showing of "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry". I'd heard relatively unkind things about the movie, and the previews weren't anything that compelled me to rush out and see it, but for $3 I figured we couldn't go too wrong.

It's usually when I go into a movie with that attitude that I end up being pleasantly surprised in one way or another...Children Of Men, as an example. Though I can't say I walked away from last night's Adam Sandler vehicle wanting to necessarily recommend it to anyone, I will say that there were several things I was kind of pleasantly surprised about.

The movie, in case you missed either the previews or someone else's bitchy review of it, is about two straight firemen who pretend to be gay and partnered to utilize benefits for the sake of getting Adam Sandler a desperately needed face lift...or something. Which serves as the perfect platform from which to make a good number of gay jokes while still not necessarily making fun of gay people (since the jokes are about two straight guys that are pretending to be gay, you see). And make the gay jokes they did...everything from Liza-record-buying, to the old dropping-the-soap-in-the-shower gag (which, by the way, makes me wonder...if you're so loose down there that you think someone could slip it in you while you're bent over just long enough to pick up a bar of soap, don't you have bigger things to worry about...like where your colostomy bag is?).

But, refreshingly, the movie also used the whole straight-man-in-a-gay-world scenario as a means to show the protagonists (and the audience) just how despicably cruel and vicious homophobic straight folks can sometimes be towards gays. There's a confrontation scene between a church group and a crowd of AIDS charity goers that actually was slightly moving. There's even a moment at the end of the film where one of the guys tells his friends (and, presumably, the audience) "don't say faggot...it's just hurtful".

Unfortunately, these moments are also balanced out by a good number of frustrating examples of ignorance in the name of humor. All too often, it ends up being the straight-guy-in-gay-clothes that has to end up standing up for the silly queers who cower instead of standing up for themselves. And when a big, burly, scary fireman played by Ving Rhames is inspired to come out himself...he goes from badass motherfucker to silly, prancing queen in about 10 seconds. Who knew that uttering the words "I'm gay" had such power?

So, the moral of the story is this: the straights are finally, maybe, starting to see the light just a teeny-tiny bit...and realizing that they can sometimes be real dicks towards gay people. But, as for the perception of who the average gay guy is...they're still having a hard time letting go of the stereotypes. But I guess any little stumbles of progress can actually seem like giant leaps to those that are making them.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go re-organize my library of musicals while I listen to Judy Garland...and wear a dress.

Who do I have to blow to see some beefcake at the gym?

2007-09-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

Ok...not literally.

I go to the gym for a good number of entirely pure and innocent reasons:

-I like to feel like I'm healthy, and like the idea of having a hobby that helps to promote said health.
-I like to feel as though I'm strong, and I actually need said strength for the more physical aspects of my job.
-I like to not be entirely sickened when I look at myself in the mirror naked.

And there's one I'll admit isn't quite as pure or innocent:

-I like to look at the really big beefy guys...for motivation to work harder...ok, and for the occasional masturbatory fantasy later. (I know I'm not the only one...right?)

But lately I'm finding a real lack of "motivation" at the gym. Ever since they opened the new LA Fitness on 1st, the number of big, hot beef monsters has dwindled significantly. Now, keep in mind that I don't need to have nice things to look at to be able to work out...but it does help from time to time!

So, tonight, I headed over to the Gold's Gym on Oracle, thinking there would be at least a little more to look at than Bally's. Since my gym seems to be populated by octogenarians and housewives, I figured how could there NOT be better eye candy?

Boy was I wrong. Not only was it not better...it was actually a little worse. So I guess it's down to relying on BMB for my motivation...and that other stuff.

*Sigh*

So my question is this...am I just being a perv with nothing better to do, or do those of you who work out sometimes find yourself doing something extra (going at a specific time of day, going to a different location, going to a different gym) to see nice things around when you're working out?

Or should I just quit bitching and concentrate on my workouts?

The name is actually French for "Big Titties"!

2007-09-16T04:29:00.000-07:00

Doing my best to show off my own "grand teton".

No, not my name...the name of the national park from which John and I just returned. The "Grand Tetons"! And to make the sexual reference all that much more over the top...it was named that by fur trappers who were there looking for (what else?) beaver.

Us'ns acting like we're all outdoorsy and stuff.

Pocahontas raccoon! Who knew tacky taxidermy could make two grown men laugh so hard?

Despite those two unfortunate associations, John and I had a good time there. We visited with my parents...who go there every summer RV-ing and work in the park visitors center. We went white-water rafting...and both got wetter than a teenaged girl at a Justin Timberlake concert. We went hiking among the almost vanished glacier tipped peaks. And we saw the cute (but uber-expensive) town of Jackson Hole...just to throw in another dirty name for good measure.

When bears attack...their own!

My parents and a female ranger named...Larry...not kidding.

On the road again...

2007-09-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

So here I am packing for another trip...when it seems I just got back from one (ok, so I did...but it was a really short one). I got back just in time for work from an extended layover in San Diego yesterday morning...and tomorrow morning I head out to Las Vegas to meet John. Where I'll spend a few days with him...then we'll try making our way up to Jackson Hole, WY to see my folks.
Is there such a thing as too much travel? Even when I fly for free?

My weekend! (Finally)

2007-09-05T11:36:00.001-07:00

Since I work in a union job, my days off are constantly changing. Everything is, as one would expect, based on one's seniority. We bid for shifts, and what we get dictates what days off we have.
So, for this month, my days off are now Wednesday and Thursday. But since the bid just switched, I wound up working for a little more than a week without any days off (I know...poor me). But I also wound up working alot of doubles and odd shifts. As a result I've been really bad about posting (surprise).

But since I'm sitting around in my underwear in front of the computer, I figured it was time to write SOMEthing.

The biggest little sleepy casino town in the world!

2007-08-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

Juan looks almost as bored as I look mentally challenged.

On Tuesday of this week, John and I headed up to Reno to hang out with my buddy Juan (who's also a co-worker). A while back he'd won a free two-nights stay in a hotel of his choice, and he was nice enough to invite us to fly up , hang out, and share the room. We stayed at the Peppermill Casino Hotel (which is actually the nicest Casino there...despite, or maybe because of, the millions of dollars in neon and pretty flashing lights they've installed) One of the neater things that they had, pretty much everywhere, were these TV screens inside art frames, which usually had what appeared to be really pretty nature stills cycling on them. But then I'd really look, and realize that the images were actually 15-30 seconds of video of some great landscape or waterfall. Really cool.

I don't know which is more pink...the hat, or John.

Anyway, one of the major draws for John and I in Reno was to see the famous National Automobile Museum. All of the cars there at one time belonged to Bill Harrah (the Harrah's Casino guy) who was also an avid car-nut. There were somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 cars on display there, which supposedly are merely a small portion of his overall collection that get rotated throughout the year. Some of the more famous cars: The Batmobile, Elvis' Thunderbird, Frank Sinatra's Chrysler, and a good number of Ed Roth cars.

Does this make us look provincial, or just like idiots that can't resist an opportunity to play dress up?

The rest of the town was kinda neat to see too...kind of a mini-Vegas on Lithium. Not nearly as much going on, but it's clean and has some pretty portions...like their River Walk. The whole town seemed a little sleepy at times, but after having spent plenty of time in Vegas lately that was actually a welcome change.

You wouldn't see this in Vegas...at least not without a few bodies floating about.

All in all, a good time was had by all...and we learned one very important lesson...never go out on a weeknight following Pride in Reno...unless, of course, you enjoy being one of 5 people in an establishment.

One of the Ed Roth cars...or is it some fancy snow blower?

The bloggers are coming! The bloggers are coming!

2007-08-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

Well, ok...so it's only one blogger, but if you know Moby then you know he's got enough personality for three bloggers! (Besides, otherwise I couldn't have used the almost-clever Paul Revere reference headline)

Anyway, Moby's coming in to visit tomorrow! We're gonna go over to Homer's for a lovely pizza and pineapple-upside-down-cake gathering tomorrow night. Otherwise we'll be showing him what a delightful little little town Tucson can be (stop laughing, you). Or maybe just relax and see a movie.

Awake, hungry, bored

2007-08-25T07:56:00.000-07:00

Not sure why this always seems to happen, but whenever I eat something right before going to bed I usually wake up earlier than I'd care to the next morning...not due to upset stomach or nature calling, but due to hunger. WTF?

Of course the wise solution would be "don't eat and then go right to bed" but therein lies the rub...if I go to bed even the slightest bit hungry, I can't sleep. I could SO not last a day doing the job of that Survivorman guy from the Discovery Channel. If I miss even ONE of my usual 5 or 6 meals a day I'm a miserable grump.

Random Beef #4 ("Reason enough to tolerate the FX network" edition)

2007-08-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

Angry because his opponent wore the same Prada gym shorts to the fight that he did. (That bitch)

At work the satellite system for our breakroom TV has been on the fritz for the last few weeks. Which means that, of the 3.5 trillion channels available on the guide thingy, we have only been getting about 5 of them to actually work.

I wonder if he'd hold still long enough for you to do your laundry on those?

One of the channels that comes in is the FX network, which seems to be a favorite with the guys at work. Which is ok with me, because even though they show really cheesy testosterone-fuled cliche-fests...they sometimes show cheesy testosterone-fueled cliche-fests like Undisputed 2. Whose only redeeming quality was that you got to see this guy shirtless and sweaty...alot...but that was still enough to keep me watching for a bit.

Maybe it's overactive sweat glands...or maybe it's spilled lube.

I love lazy days off...

2007-08-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

I can safely say that I got very little accomplished during my "weekend" this time around..though, admittedly more than I would have had we gone out of town for my days off.

We did some house chore type stuff yesterday, like fixing the drawers that I've overloaded with my thrift-store T-shirt treasures until their guides broke from the sheer weight.

We also tried out the LA Fitness up on Ina, because we both agreed that we desperately needed a change of pace from the Bally's by the Tucson Mall. Not only has Bally become primarily occupied by potential cast members for a Cocoon sequel, but their AC hasn't been operational for a good month now. I mean, I know they filed for bankruptcy, but WTF?!? I don't mind sweating when I work out, but is it necessary to go into heat exhaustion when you're paying good money to do so?

Anyway, the LA was not only much cooler...but there were actually a few notable pieces of eye candy there. There was one guy that totally belongs in porn...or at least in my own private version of it during my...uh..."private time".

Later last night we met Scott S. and Jeff out for scary-no-key at Woody's, where it was "Gay Idol" tryouts. And since mom always said not to say anything at all if you don't have anything nice to say, I'll just leave it at that. Scott (as usual) sang really well, and I (as usual) butchered the song I attempted.

Today was even lazier than yesterday. We sat around playing computer until we went out for lunch (yummy Vietnamese), and then I went to get a haircut while John played car-rescue-ranger.

We ended today by seeing 1408, a pretty decent sci-fi-ish flick with Samuel "Bad Motherfucker" L. Jackson and John "not to be confused with Joan" Cusack.

And now it's more computer time until I get tired and head to bed...hey, there's only so much BMB surfing one can do in a day!

I'm never flying out of Oakland on a Sunday....EVER!

2007-08-11T09:14:00.000-07:00

Well, it had to happen. After having a great many flights to various places that went off without a hitch, John and I finally ran into trouble going somewhere. This past weekend we were supposed to go visit some friends in Vancouver for their pride extravagayza. I say supposed to, because, obviously, it didn't happen.

The plan was to fly up to Seattle (since that's as far north as our free flight benefits will take us) and then take a train from there to Vancouver. I should have taken the hint from (insert mystical force of the universe of choice here...Flying Spaghetti Monster?) that this trip might not go well when I had to beg, plead, and eventually pay one of my co-workers just to get him to cover my shift. As if that weren't bad omen enough, I checked on trains once I had finally secured the days off I needed, only to find out that all of the trains going from Seattle to VC were sold out. Seeing that there was still a shuttle we could take, however, I figured we could just be a bit flexible and do that instead.

The flight plan was that I would fly into Vegas and meet John (who was already there for business) at the gate for the flight going to Oakland...from where we would then take a flight to Seattle. I had checked the bookings, and they appeared to be more than fine from Vegas to Oakland. From Oakland to Seattle was a little tighter, but still looked manageable. So we made our way up to Oakland, and proceeded to our gate for the Seattle flight...which was over-booked by a large margin. We put ourselves on the standby list to no avail, and waited for later flights...all of which we missed.

I'd been texting Moby about our ordeal while we were sitting around the airport, and he (being the sweetheart that he is) let us know that we could come stay at his place so that we could try again in the morning. So we headed into Frisco, met up with Moby, and had dinner at this really great chicken place whose name is escaping me right now...but they put out these spiced olives on all the tables that, by themselves are worth visiting the place for. Later we watched a The Prestige, which was fun for us to see again...and even more fun to watch Moby get all excited about figuring out the ending ahead of time. Later we kicked him out of his own bed so we could sleep there instead. It was a nice, if short, and unexpected visit.

Hey! This isn't Vancouver!

So the next day we took the two trains and a bus needed to get to Oakland airport from the Castro, only to walk upon the longest line EVER seen. You'd have thought they were giving away free Iphones or something. But that was only the line to get to the ticket counter. Luckily enough, we weren't checking bags, and had security passes, so we waltzed right on through and managed to make it just in time...to be told we couldn't make it on the flight we were trying for. And then the next one? Same thing. And the four after that? All the same.

So, finally realizing that we'd been beat, we decided that we should head back to Vegas, where we had left the car in airport parking. ($12 a day!) But we then found out that just about any flight going anywhere that wasn't the zoo that the Oakland airport seems to turn into on a Sunday was overbooked, and had a waiting list 14 lines long of paying standbys. How bad was it? we had to fly to Ontario, CA just to make our way to Vegas.

Having finally made it back to Vegas, we decided to head to the gym to take out our frustrations...despite having headaches and feeling a little nauseated from a full day of airport food. The next day, however, John's nausea went from "Green Zone" to "Fallujah". It was that bad...really. The bad part was that it turned ugly while I was visiting with a co-worker who'd flown in for a short while on his way back to San Diego. So while I was having buffet and talking shop, John was kneeling at the porcelain altar. Yes, I'll be expecting my husband of the year award nomination any day now.

...and neither is this! WTF?

Luckily enough, by the next morning John's stomach issues had turned more into just general malaise and less Linda Blair in The Exorcist. Still, I wanted to make sure that he was ok for the drive home, so I went with him instead of flying back. Which was really nice, as it gave us some time to spend together frolicking about in Lake Mead along the way. The water was surprisingly warm, and I got the added bonus of watching John's facial expressions as his feet moved from the rocky portion of the lake floor to the part he described as "icky and slimey". Classic.

And neither is this! But at least it's pretty!

The remainder of the trip home was a scenic tour of the lovely northern Arizona desert. Alot of which I spent thinking about how a flight from Vegas to Tucson is a little over an hour, but driving takes nearly 8 hours. I guess traveling at nearly 500 mph through the air verses 60mph on twisty, curvey roads tends to help with that.

Still not Vancouver, but at least we got a little vitamin D!

So the moral of the story, kids? If you should ever get the benefit of flying as a non-revenue standby passenger on an airline...don't fly out of Oakland on a Sunday...EVER...no, seriously.

OMG! I totally forgot about my blog!

2007-08-11T08:51:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I didn't forget about it, but things have just been a little too crazy lately for me to make the time to post anything. See, I've got this weird perfectionist streak sometimes that makes me think that if I'm not posting something fun, interesting, or compelling, then I shouldn't bother. The problem being that when I try to post that kind of stuff it usually takes longer than the time I have available. Which, essentially, means that I'm too long winded for my own good, and should just post smaller items more frequently...so that I at least post something.

So I think that's going to be my new goal for this blog thingy. Even if it's just an update of what kind of lint I found in my belly button this morning, I'm going to post something as close to daily as possible. Not to worry, though....I'll still do my more substantial posts when I can for those that need to exercise their ocular muscles.

By the way, today it was gray, just like the shirt I wore yesterday.

OMG, I totally forgot about Flickr!

2007-07-24T17:43:00.000-07:00

At least until the very sweet and shy Todd reminded me of it. I started looking at the site again and got all inspired to post some more pics...including (finally) some of the 35mm work I've scanned into my computer. Sadly my last entries before that were from January, I think...LOL...

Anyway, if y'all are curious to see my stuff (the photos, you perv) then you ought to be able to pull it up with this.

In the meantime here's a little preview...

Lazy lazy Saturday...

2007-07-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it's officially my Saturday. And yes, I realize it's Monday for pretty much everybody else, but when you've got Monday and Tuesday as your weekend you tend to measure the week a little differently.

My original plan for today, when I was looking at it from the perspective of my Monday (which was Wednesday), was to finally find my way back into the gym after my self imposed hiatus. But, as Moby alluded to on his blog the other day, I developed a not-so-friendly stomach bug a couple days ago that has yet to leave me entirely. Going to the gym seems like a less than ideal plan when your stomach sounds like it has a herd of angry, confused veloceraptors squealing in it.

So I think this will be my super-mega-lazy Saturday. I headed up to Sprouts for some foodage earlier, just finished a big bowl of oatmeal with strawberries and bananas on it, and am now being a total bump on a log in front of the computer. Which will likely be what most of my day will consist of.

Gym Embargo: Day 7

2007-07-20T08:57:00.000-07:00

Well, as much as I hate taking time off from the gym, it's been a week now since I tossed around the ol' iron. The surprising part is that I don't feel the kind of irritation and grumpiness that usually comes with not getting to the gym. I'm actually feeling alot less tired and worn down. I've also comforted myself with the knowledge that this will make my workouts better in the long run...and will prevent me from doing damage to my body.

I have experienced some odd things, however. Such as feeling sore from a workout I'd done 5 days earlier, and my appetite actually increasing over the last week. But I guess that's what happens when you finally give your body the chance to rest like it should.

And the winner is...

2007-07-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

First off, I wanted to thank you guys for your unprecedented response to the "Fur-Off". I think that's the most comments I've ever gotten for a post on here! LOL...It probably helps that Homer promoted my little contest on his blog. Thanks, Homer!

So, without further ado, Here are the respective styles from least to most popular...

The "Dwayne Johnson" is 4th, with one vote.

The "Juan Pablo" is third, with two votes.

The "Goldberg" is second, with five votes. (Yes, I can count...I pestered Moby until he told me which one was his fave, and he voted for this one)

And The "Fuzzycub" is first, with nine votes. (Which pretty much confirms my suspicions...I've always liked it best too)

Since this winner requires no altering of my current facial hair arrangment, I'll go ahead and just post another example of the Fuzzy to show the winner....

Thanks again to everyone who voted, especially the ones who gave me flattering comments while doing so! :o)

Hairy Otter and the Ever Evolving Facial Fur

2007-07-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

I had someone tell me a while back that my facial hair seemed to always be in a state of change...shifting and moving toward something else. I thought about that, and I have to admit to getting easily bored with any one style of beard-ness. I always find it fun to try something new out to make my face look a little more or less follicle-y populated. It's a heck of alot cheaper than a hair cut.

But it got me got thinking, I know I have my faves of what I've tried, and John has told me his...and, surprise, our views on that matter don't always jive. But he is one of the people I know can always count on to be completely honest about an opinion. So I thought it'd be fun to post a few different types to see what you guys think is the better.

Vote for your fave in the comments section, and those who pick winner get a free mustache ride! Oh alright, so those who pick the winner will get to influence my shaving A.D.D. for a while. I promise to shave to whatever style you choose, and keep it that way (for a few weeks).

My current: The "Fuzzycub"

The "Juan Pablo"

The "Goldberg" (no, not as in '& Osborne")

The "Dwayne Johnson" (Yes someone actually told John I looked like him in this pic...they were on hallucinogenics at the time, I'm sure)

There have, of course been other styles I've attempted, but most have been too disastrous to inflict upon your eyes.

Overtraining? There is such a thing?

2007-07-14T21:50:00.000-07:00

Some of you who've read my sporadically updated little blog on a regular basis may remember a post from a while back bitching about losing weight unexpectedly, despite eating more than I ever have. That, joined with being generally tired and developing a slight case of tendon-itis, led me to talk to a few friends with a pretty good knowledge of weightlifting and all that testosterone-y stuff.

They essentially both said "Duh, you're overtraining". Given that I, on a given day: wake up, go to the gym and totally kick my ass tossing about heavy things for an hour and a half, shower, head to work, totally kick my ass tossing about heavy things for about 8 hours, then go home and catch a little sleep before starting it all again...I guess I can see their point.

"So what should I do?" I asked my buddy Perry (who's not only one of the in-better-shape people I know, but has also won a bodybuilding competition).

"Take two weeks off the gym, eat alot, sleep alot...reset your body's overtraining clock"

I, being not only gym-obsessed, but also stubborn as hell. Scoffed at the idea, and headed directly into the gym the next morning and did legs. As if to tell me that I was being an idiot, my body found the "tired" and "pain" buttons and pressed them as hard as possible that day. Walking felt like trying to animate a zombie from the inside...and yes, that IS the best description I can give. Or maybe it's because Shaun of the Dead was on TV in the breakroom that night.

So here I am in day two of my weightlifting embargo. And oddly enough, I don't feel nearly as bad about it yet as I thought I would. But that could be because I just got home from tossing about heavy things for 8 hours at work...just maybe.

Computer killed the video star

2007-07-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

Every now and then John and I get to feeling really lazy, and decide that instead of doing anything the least bit productive we'll have ourselves a movie day. Which, roughly translated, means that we go to a matinée movie (which are priced at $7 here...WTF?!?) and then theater hop to see at least one more movie. I know...bad bears...how dare we cheat the local multi-plex of that extra $3.50 that they'll easily make up on a single 12 ounce soda? But I digress...

So on Sunday we did just that, and headed in to see Transformers and then Ratatouille. The first showing of Transformers was at 12:30, and we were there at 12. The theater we went to is housed in a mall, so we (unwisely) bought our tickets and wandered out to browse a few stores we'd normally never set foot in to kill some time until the movie started.

I say unwisely, because when we finally wandered back into the theater, it was so packed that we had no choice but to sit in the you-can-see-every-one-of-those-pores-that-the-lead-actors'-makup-guy-worked-so-hard-to-cover-up seats. The only good thing was that we were sitting next to this rather hot military looking guy who had some nice tattoos on his rather beefy arms. But even that wasn't enough to keep us in seats that required us to move our heads from side to side just to make sure we were catching everything on screen.

So we left that theater, and waited in line for the next showing of the movie right next door. I have to admit that despite going in knowing it was a Micheal Bay film (and thus lowering my expectations enormously) I was quite pleasantly surprised at certain aspects of the film. The CGI effects were really great, and allowed for some really kick-ass action sequences. They were only ruined when the robots started (shudder) talking. Especially when one of them sounded like he was the whitest kid in the world trying out to be the next VJ on BET. But overall, the CGI effects and sequences out-classed anything the live actors could bring to the screen. I mean, how can an actor compare with a big-rig truck that changes into a 50 foot high robot while skidding down a major freeway, locked in battle with another 50 foot high former vehicle robot thingy?

Which was a funny revelation to have as we headed into Ratatouille...an entirely CGI movie. The only thing that actors were really good for in that movie was the voice-overs. Which, don't get me wrong, were very well done. But it got me to wondering, when one can create such a wonderful and visually rich world inside a computer, how far are we from the majority of movies having come from pixel rendering? The amount of detail and visual beauty that Pixar continues to put into their movies never ceases to amaze me.

After all, a pretty good percentage of the Transformers movie was CGI. And when the time comes when it's cheaper to create an entirely CGI movie than deal with sets, props, and overpriced primadonna actors required for most blockbuster movies...how hard of decision will it be to just go with the computer?

Or maybe all these thoughts were the result of achieving dangerously low blood sugar levels while attempting to sit through nearly 5 hours worth of movies on protein bars alone...

I left on the Bart to San Francisco...

2007-07-05T09:31:00.000-07:00

I know that I've gone on and on about the great benefits of working for an airline before here, but I'm still in the flying-for-free-is-a-novelty stage right now. Which means I still think it's really cool that John and I can decide last minute to fly somewhere, and not only do I not pay extra for it, but I still pay nothing for it! So the other day when, upon trying to decide what to do with my three days off that were quickly approaching, John suggested we head up to San Francisco for pride and to visit our friend Moby, I was all about it!

Of course, like most things that one is really looking forward to doing, the trip up there wasn't without complication. We arrived at the airport way early (5:30) for our way early flight (6:40) and found out that the 2nd portion of the trip (from Las Vegas to Oakland) was pretty full.

So I singed up for flying 4th, which means that I basically act as one of the flight crew, sitting in the jump seat, helping pass out peanuts, and maybe even making snarky announcements over the PA. This meant that if the flight were to fill up, I would free up one seat for John. It also meant that I had to pre-board so I could meet the flight crew that I might be working with. Which also meant that I found out before anyone else would that that particular plane had a mechanical issue that would delay it quite a while.

So, in another shining example of how great my job can be, I hopped off the plane, walked up to the customer service desk, and managed to charm the girl there into getting us onto the next flight into LA. The catch was that we got into LA about 7 minutes before the flight to Oakland was due to depart. I was able to convince the gate agent to let us pre-board and luckily enough, that flight was only 2 gates away, so we booked it right out of our plane and onto the other one just in time.

Once we finally got to Oakland, we had to catch the AirBart shuttle that goes from the terminal to the Bart station by the Coliseum. Three dollars later, we were packed into the rear doorway of the bus stuck between a couple with a sick puppy who smelled as though he'd been eating out of Taco Bell dumpsters and two extremely loud and obnoxious New Jersey-ites who complained about everything from the number of people that they let onto the bus to how fast the driver was going to how long it was taking to get there.

Once at the station, we hopped the wrong train...hopped back off...hopped on the right one, and headed toward downtown. We needed to get off at the stop near where the trolley cars depart thinking that we'd hop one to get to our hotel in Nob Hill. I knew that it was Pride weekend, and that there was going to be a parade on Market, but it was scheduled to start a good hour before we got there. And, were said parade to have been in Tucson, it would have been over 45 minutes ago. We emerged from the station to the all chaos and frivolity inherent to a big-city pride parade.

The first thing we saw was a group of church crazies screaming about hell, repentance, and condemnation over a PA to a group of rather exuberant homosexuals that had gathered around them and were chanting things back while jumping about like they were at a circuit party. All of which was only angering the gentleman on the PA even more, making him re-double his efforts...which only made the gays that much more excited. You can't buy that kind of entertainment.

We watched the parade for a while, and then grabbed a bite to eat at this Korean BBQ place that somehow managed to overcharge my card by the simple mis-placement of a decimal point...making my food $181.60 instead of $18.16. I'm sure somewhere one of my former math teachers is smiling, knowing that I finally understand the power of that little decimal point and its position in a number.

All this time I'd been texting Moby, trying to figure out where and when we'd end up meeting him. He had told me that he was sort of headed our way, even though I hadn't even told him exactly where we were. After eating, and resisting the temptation to throttle the girl behind the counter, we wandered back outside. I told John I was going to call Moby so that we could better figure out our meeting place. As the phone was ringing, I looked around the pandemonium surrounding us and saw...who else?...a grinning Moby standing right on the other side of a rail that created an entry way into the restaurant we'd been eating in. I still don't know how he found us so easily, but I was certainly glad!

That's Moby...and no, that's NOT a halo behind him.

After hugs and kisses, he helped us find our way to our hotel so that we could ditch the bags we'd been dragging through the crowded streets...tripping more than a few bitter queens along the way. Check in time at the hotel wasn't until 3, and it was barely 11am, so we checked our bags and wandered back out to the street festivities.

All of the non-parade activities ended near the Civic Center (no, not a place they sell Hondas) where the expected assortment of booths and port-a-potties lined the streets. Moby showed us around some of the more interesting spots, and we met a few interesting people including Andy and Bill (the men to whom so many BigMuscle members owe heaps of thanks for making it way easier for them to get laid). They were both really nice and great guys in person.

Does this group hug make me look gay?

We also met Matt, Moby's adorable friend from Oklahoma who wound up hanging out with us. Between Moby (southern) John (also southern) and Matt (you guessed it, southern) I was the odd man out. I heard more "y'all"s, "might oughta"s and "usta could"s than a trip to Dollywood would yield. It certainly made the day more fun for me!

Come 3 o'clock, we checked into the hotel and got showered up. We then headed over to the Castro to visit some more with Moby and Matt, and had some great sushi...and cookies. Later we headed back to our hotel via the Muni train and then bus (neither of which we wound up having to pay for for some odd reason). We had reserved a room with two double beds, but discovered earlier in the day that they forgot the 2 part. I slept pretty well despite doing so on the floor.

Apparently, sushi makes everyone giddy.

The next day we met up with Moby and hung out for a bit...had lunch with Matt, Moby and a friend of John's from BMB and his two friends. Matt was nice enough to volunteer to drive us around, as his car had just gotten out of the shop, so John and I and M & M headed to the Haight Ashbury district at my request. You see, I was born there (well, I was born in a hospital, but my folks lived there when I was born) and had yet to visit despite having taken several trips to SF before. It was a fun neighborhood...the four of us hung out in a thrift store there for nearly an hour making fun of clothes, and making each other try on ridiculous articles. Afterward it was on to Ben & Jerry's for some creamy goodness!

Despite appearances, we weren't in a bath-house.

We later made our way back to the Castro for dinner, and then went back to Moby's to watch "Serial Mom". That night Moby went above and beyond his normally sweet and considerate nature and let John and I crash in his bed while he slept on the couch. We promised to keep the stains to a minimum, and slept pretty well.

I'm not sure if it was Matt or John that was doing the pontificating in this picture, but someone's gonna break an ankle stepping off that soap-box.

The next day the three of us headed out to the Oakland airport together, (Moby was going home to east Texas via Houston, and we were headed home). We got to visit a bit more, and subject Moby to some of our music tastes on the train...then we said bye at the airport, and headed home.

Fa-fa-fa-fabulous new music to listen to!

2007-06-23T00:55:00.000-07:00

I will preface this post with an admittance of my technological ignorance. I would really love to provide a link for you guys to go immediately listen to some of the songs that I'm going to be listing, but I have no idea how to do so. I've seen it done on other blogs (Jockohomo comes to mind) but for now I'll just have to link you to their MySpace pages (where most of them have their songs up to be played).

Anyway, below is a list of fun or groovy music that I am totally lovin right now...I insist that you listen to at least one or two of them...

Datarock- Fa-Fa-Fa
-If this song doesn't get your toes tapping, then you probably have sciatica or something.
" - I Used To Dance With My Daddy
-Lotsa fun, maybe because I just dig the title...;o)

Bird and The Bee- Fucking Boyfriend
-Their sound I would describe as "the unholy love child of Nellie McKay and Morcheeba".

Spandau Ballet- The Freeze
-They were so ahead of their time that I think they borrowed Doc Brown's Delorean.

Editors- Bones
-Quite possibly my favorite group that's come out within the last few years that sound like Echo and The Bunnymen updated.

Maroon 5- If I Never See Your Face Again
-Yeah, I know, but it's actually a good song.

The Bravery- Believe
-Throwback new wave retro futuristic...or something.

Arctic Monkeys- Fluorescent Adolescent
-Another of my favorite new groups that somehow manage to work their cockney accents into their singing.

Interpol- The Heinrich Maneuver
-What Micheal Stipe would sound like if you gave him some testosterone injections...no, I mean the kind with a needle...I think he gets the other kind already....

LCD Soundsystem- Someone Great
-This song makes John dance around the house like a big dork, so it's a winner in my book.

Boy Kill Boy- Suzie
-If you pull up next to me at a stop light and see me singing my little heart out and playing drums on the steering wheel, it's most likely this on the stereo.

Yeah, I know...it's a bit of a mish-mash, but them's my music tastes....

Awwww.....

2007-06-20T09:13:00.001-07:00

John opened our back door yesterday to throw out the recycles, and nearly knocked this poor baby (or at least younger) pigeon off the railing that accompanies our stairs. He kept saying that it was a dove, most likely because I always say how I think pigeons are rats with wings.

Anyway, the poor thing wouldn't even move when we were right next to it and shaking the rail by going down the stairs. Later, John looked out the window and saw its mother sitting on the rail next to it. I was afraid it might have been hurt, but when we checked this morning it was gone.

Weird...but at least it let me get close enough to get a few pictures...

Holy unexpected weight loss, Batman!

2007-06-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not sure that going to La Parilla Suiza and pigging out on chips, salsa, and fajitas is really the answer...but that's what I just got through with doing. I ate so much that my stomach hurts...and is growling in really weird ways at me. We'll leave it at that, so I don't go into any ugly details that might scare my more delicate readers.

Today, overall, has been my total pig-out day. Earlier today John and I went to Gandhi Indian buffet and (you guessed it) pigged out. I went back for seconds when I really shouldn't have even had such a large first plate.

So why, you may rightfully ask, do I feel obliged to over-eat in such a totally unnecessary way? Because the other morning I hopped my happy ass on the scale in the bathroom and it told me in very uncertain terms that I-without the assistance of a towel or any clothes-weighed 185 lbs. Which isn't so bad until you consider that just a few months ago I weighed 205.

While most people would be thrilled at losing twenty pounds randomly, I'm one of those silly meat-head weightlifter guys who prefers to tip the scales with my, like, pumped-up-ness. But I guess that doing a fairly physical job out in the 100+ heat every day, coupled with not eating like I ought to lately (because, frankly, who has a mega-appetite in the sweltering heat?) can lead to...uh...shrinkage.

Oh well, at least my pants fit a little better at the moment...

My boyfriend's back, and we're gonna start some trouble...

2007-06-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

YAY! After being gone for nearly three weeks, my adorable little hubby-bear is finally back home! He left first to go to IML with me, and then from there we both headed on to St. Louis to visit with his brother and family.

I flew home so I could work...he stayed there for about another week. I came up to visit one more time...and we all went (including our 4 & 5 year-old nieces) to Six Flags to ride the spin 'n' pukes. I think our favorite ride was the Superman...which takes you up a good number of stories...and just drops you. Our least favorite was The Boss (a.k.a. "Shaken Baby Syndrome for Adults"). Which is an old-school wooden roller coaster with all the gentle smoothness of driving down a cobblestone street at 80mph.

Then, after I came back home again (for work) he flew down to Florida to visit with his folks. While he was down there, he got to see the shuttle launch and managed to buy a car to drive home. And then he made the three day drive to get home, and made it back home Wednesday night!

The best part is that I managed to get the house all nice and pretty so that it at least doesn't look like I live in squalor while he's gone.

And I even had time to make him a dorky little something on photoshop documenting his adventure (ala Family Circle...sort of)

Doctor, my eyes...

2007-06-12T15:34:00.001-07:00

So I went to the optometrist a few days ago for my annual contacts exam. Which, to me, always seemed like a pretty good racket they've got going in the profession. You need contacts and/or glasses to be able to see (especially if you're as blind as I am)...but in order to get them you must get an exam every year.

So that means that when you go to buy more once you've run out, and it just so happens to be past the anniversary of your last exam, you are told that you can't have any pudding until you eat your meat. But in this case the meat is a $100 update (even with insurance) to tell you just how vision-impaired you really are. Maybe it's just me, but I'm not really sure that my eyes change that much over the course of one year.

But I digress...I now have health insurance that includes vision stuff, so I found myself a new eye doctor out of the insurance listing via a very rigorous method of determining geographical convenience. Yeah...laziness, I know...but the only other thing I had to base it on was the person's name and gender.

So I wound up with a male doctor who is very nice, very thorough, and just a little odd. He's one of those people that sort of goes off on his own mumbling, verbal tangent about stuff, seemingly forgetting that a person who is receiving an exam from him is sitting right there. But it's all totally harmless stuff that, admittedly, I brought about by trying to make small talk.

He did, however, make several comments about how "beautifully healthy" my eyes looked. And one comment about how the "wonderful brown" of my eyes matched my "sultry, olive skin". Now, I really don't think that he's family, though he could be, or that he was making a pass at me, cause he just didn't seem the type...I really think that he's more of one of those un-self-conscious "the world is a beautiful place full of wonder, and I'm gonna say so, damn the consequences" type of people. He's a big time hiker and photographer in his 50s who very obviously has a former hippy side.

Then again, I did put my male significant other (John) down as my emergency contact person in my records...which I'm sure he saw before coming in to meet me...so who knows?

Ok, so I'm a public radio whore

2007-06-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

As if listening to NPR constantly didn't make me a big enough dork, an online buddy introduced me the other day to a Seattle area non-profit (yes, they beg you for money to stay on the air) radio station that webcasts live. KEXP plays a pretty good mix of stuff, alot of which is indie-rock oriented. And any station that plays stuff like Interpol, Sonic Youth, and Chemical Brothers along side a bunch of stuff I've never heard of (but love) is ok in my book.

They're in the middle of a pledge-drive right now, which can be annoying sometimes, but I still encourage you to tune in and give em a listen if you dig the non-commercial non-payola non-crappy radio experience.

IML...what DOES it stand for?

2007-06-02T09:02:00.000-07:00

So I just got back from our trip to Chicago for IML the other day...and I got to thinking about how I really need to schedule more time in my life for travel! Because 3 trips out of town in the month of May alone isn't nearly enough...

We managed to wind up with a pretty sweet...and inexpensive...deal for the weekend. John did some research, and found out that one could volunteer for the events. Thus providing an interesting insider's point of view, and getting us into all of the events and parties entirely free! Also we wound up staying in the apartment of a friend of John's brother...who was out of town for the weekend. I know, life of Riley, right?

We were also fortunate enough to be joined on our voyage by Scotty, who was quite the trooper despite having a cough that would put a seal to shame. Though it wasn't entirely his scene per-say, he did his level best to enjoy himself...and even went so far as to buy on or two souvenirs by the end of it all.

The best part about the apartment stay was that we (ok, I) would trot into the elevator wearing something slutty like a leather vest with no shirt, and on the way down from floor 33 the elevator would stop every now and again...and in would wander average Joes and Janes, who would take one look at us and promptly press the "close door" button repeatedly...then look at the front of the elevator only until the doors opened to the lobby.

Needless to say, fun was had by all. And there were more curious and startling outfits than at a Janet Jackson concert. Slaves, masters, daddies, boys, pigs, bears, puppies, twinks, (and a few more classifications that I'm sure I'm missing), mingled and ogled and groped. Oh, and some guy from LA got a pretty sash.

When I was talking to a guy online about it all the other day I said I'd gone to IML...not knowing what it stood for he guessed "International Male Liberation?"

Thinking about all the collars, handcuffs, and restraints I'd seen that weekend, I said "Uh...I think just the opoosite...depending on who you ask."

Come fly with me...

2007-05-22T15:09:00.000-07:00

One of the really great things about working for an airline is the benefits. Especially my airline. Not only do I get to fly free (provided that there's an unoccupied, un-purchased seat available)-and get all the usual health benefits one would expect from a good employer-but my "committed partner" (John, and no, "committed" doesn't mean institutionalized) and my parents get to fly for free as well.

A sign in front of this tree says that it was featured in "Some Like It Hot"...which means it's actually OLDER than Jack Lemmon!

The most famous hotel on Coronado Island named...the Coronado Hotel! What are the chances, eh?
So, for Mother's Day I decided to make use of my folks' fly-ability and take my mom and dad for a day trip to San Diego (which is made so much more fun and easy when you fly for an hour instead of driving for eight). Given my work schedule it wound up being on Monday instead of Sunday but hey, nobody's perfect.

Just think how big that rock had to be to make John that much taller than me.

Everyone had to wake up way early so we could catch the earliest flight (6:45am) so we were all tired and a little worn down...but we made the most of our day. Coronado Island, Balboa Park, Old Town, and several meals in between made for a full, and memorable, day. Then we sent mom and pop back on the latest flight, and John and I stayed around for another few days of relaxing fun.

Yeah, life's rough.

Mom & pop in front of the lovely Coronado Island ocean view.

Mom doing her best busty pose in front of the Balboa Park botanical garden thingy.

Addiction, thy name is BMB...

2007-05-20T09:36:00.000-07:00

Well, after going way overboard with the vacation photos and details on my last few posts I thought I'd take a short break. Which never turns out to be so short.

While I could always blame my absence on traveling or work, the simple truth is that I was caught up in a new addiction. In fact, I think I may have found the most addictive substance known to man. Crack? Child's play. Meth? Doesn't hold a torch. Cigarettes? Feh. (Ok, so I've never tried meth or crack, but I'm sure they don't compare) No, the most addictive substance is not a substance at all, really. It's a website. And its name is Big Muscle Bears(.com).

I'll admit that I've been a long-time viewer of the site. I always found it fun to look at all the hot beefcake on there, to see what kind of unrealistic expectations would be driving me the next time I went to the gym. And it's always even more fun to run across someone you actually know on there.

But I finally decided the other day (or, rather, we did...John's got one too now) that it'd be fun to finally add a profile and see what it'd be like.......It's like being hypnotized...by flesh...and muscle...and naughty bits.

Here's a quick summary of me on the site:

"Oh, look at that one!"

*click*

"Wow...of course I 'like'..."

*click*

"Oooh, I got a message from this one...."

*type, type, type*

"I wonder if I've got any new 'likes'?"

*refresh*

"Ok, I've gotta get going to work...just one more page..."

*click*

"Oh, wait, let me send a message back to this one..."

*type, type, type*

And so on.

So, I've started to find time for things other than lecherous internet surfing...thus I'll be posting more regularly on my poor little neglected blog. (Hey, it's only been 15 days...heh...) But it's always the first post back that's the hardest.

P.S. If you're curious, the proflie # is 73636

DC Trippin': Day 4

2007-05-06T08:05:00.000-07:00

GRRRR(L)! I'm fierce!

The last day we were there was a little more relaxed of a day. We woke up kinda late, and found our way to the Natural History Museum. I found that to be the most fascinating of the museums there by far. It was really fun to see some of the displays showing evolution in action, like the little poodle-like thing that would eventually become a modern day horse.

That's right, one day this little bugger will grow up to give us that OTHER meaning to the phrase "bareback riding".

Doesn't it look like you could photoshop a Virgin Mary into the middle of him and start a frenzy?

The best part is that all of this proof-of-evolution stuff is just a mile or two away from the residence of a certain president who would love to see all of it abolished in favor of a Jesus exhibit, I'm sure.

For some reason this little guy reminded me of Hammy from Over the Hedge. "I like the cookie!"

After that it was the gym again, then an early evening in to pack and ready ourselves for the trip home the next day.

DC Trippin': Day 3

2007-05-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

The next day we got up from our night out, and tried to plan our day (which usually involves me prodding John for suggestions on what to do so that we don't just do what I have in mind, making me seem like the overbearing vacation nazi that I can sometimes be). Being the OCD gym-goers that we like to think of ourselves as, we both wanted to get a little work out time in. Given that it had been *gasp* 5 days since I'd last tossed around the iron, I was all about this idea. Some people gotta try out shopping in a new town, some gotta try out new coffee shops, we like trying out new gyms.

We then got a phone call from Jimbo, who told us that his running buddy had the info on the good place to be on a Monday night in DC, and asked if we could meet him out around 8:30-ish. A little later, John G called and asked us about meeting him and Dan out for dinner around 7-ish. We told him we'd meet him back at the house to pick up his truck around 6-ish so that we could let him into the house, as we had his keys.

Not really sure what this building was, but it has the number "1" spelled out in tulips on the lawn.

We looked at the time, and it was 1 or so. Which gave us just enough time to see the front of the white house, a really nicely lanscaped building next to it, and make our way to the gym. After the gym it was back to the house, then on to dinner at a really good Thai place whose name I can't recall. We met there with John G, Dan, Jimbo and his sweet and witty running buddy. Dinner was alotta fun, and the food was really good.

From there it was off to RJ's for (brace yourself) show tunes night. There's nothing more fun than seeing a large group of men simultaneously belting out "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" as loud as they can muster, especially after they've all had more than a few intoxicants. It was sure as hell alot busier, and more fun, than the bars we'd visited the night previous though. Oddly enough we ran into a few people we knew from Tucson there too.

We also found out that big city boys are all shy and chaste:
Random guy approaching John: "Hi, that's my boyfriend over there...we think you're hot...we want you to come home with us so you and he can both double team me.".

Apparently, that's the new version of "Hi, my name is Tom. What's your name?". Though I suppose there's certainly something to be said for efficiency.

DC Trippin...Day 2

2007-05-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

Saturday night, while walking amongst the monuments, we had talked to Jimbo on the phone about having brunch on Sunday. He wanted to meet us at a place called Annie‘s on 17th street which is in sort of the DC version of the gay ghetto. We were to meet him at 11:00 and, oddly enough, Dan + John were planning to meet some friends there at 10:30. So we hitched a ride with them there. Which was good, as we hadn't quite mastered the Metro yet.

Annie‘s was cute, the type of place where the gays trot out Saturday night‘s trick on Sunday morning for all their friends to see. Afterward, Jimbo was nice enough to show us around the area. We stopped in front of a Freemasons-related building that had these neat sphynxes (or sphynges, as Jimbo informed us, is the proper plural) for a photo op or two. He then led us to Dupont Circle, where he had to part ways with us to get back to the work we‘d been helping him avoid.

The Freemason's temple-thingy had very nice landscaping and purdy trees.

The woofy Jimbo was on his tippy toes so he'd look taller than my woofy husbear.

Us gettin all snuggly in front of the sphynx (maybe that's why it had its eyes closed).

From there we saw the Air + Space Museum, which was neat. Then we hit the Mall (the kind dedicated to our republic, not the kind with a Bananna Republic) and saw the gigantic phallic symbol that is the Washington Memorial. Then we saw: The World War 2 Memorial, The Vietnam Memorial, and the Licoln Memorial. Then we headed back to John G‘s place for a little disco nap, in anticipation of a night out.

John being distracted by the hot military guy that was getting searched at the security entrance to the Air & Space. Seriously.

Isn't that, like, all patriotic and stuff?

Me and Mr. Lincoln...we got a thing...goin' on...Well, he was supposed to be gay(-ish), right?

Rested and ready, we headed out for an evening of clubbin‘. We had missed out on Saturday night, but figured that in a city of 5 million there would be more going on than in Tucson on a Sunday.

Not so much.

The Green Lantern, supposedly fun and bear-laden on Fridays + Saturdays, was "tragic kareoke and martini night" on Sundays. The Eagle? Emptier than Karl Rove‘s well of ethical standards. But at least I managed to buy a cool hoodie sweatshirt from there...'cause you know how much we need that kind of clothing down here in Arizona this time of year.

DC Trippin': Day 1

2007-05-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of catching up on blogging, I'm writing about the trip John and I took to DC a little more than a week ago. I'll preface this by saying that, yes, I will be writing more than one probably should about one's vacations. I, however, am an avid travel whore. I fully enjoy any trip I can take, and like to remember it in detail. So I'll brake this up into days of the trip...so that they're a little more consumption (not to mention pic-posting) friendly.

DAY 1...

Our 1st day in DC was an exercise in adaptability. We flew into BWI, which got us to Baltimore nearly 3 hours earlier than the flight to Dulles would have. However, transport from the airport was anything but direct. Normally, there is a MARC train from BWl to Union Station...but we got there on a saturday, and said train doesn't run on weekends. Luckily, there is an express bus from BWl to the green line of the Metro. From the Greenbelt station one could then navigate the Metro to Union Station.

That was the game plan, anyway. And we all know how the saying goes about the best laid plans of our rodent counterparts and us. The 1st wrinkle came when I waited at the carousel for my little black luggage that I shouldn't have bothered checking. (which, had it not been for my contact lens solution bottle being about 9oz over the limit for liquid carry-ons, I wouldn't have). After the last piece of luggage dropped, I got that sinking feeling of dread... mine was still not among the last few riding on the carousel. I walked over to baggage claim and, oddly enough, my bag was sitting there waiting for me. Not sure why or how it had mysteriously migrated to the land of the lost + unclaimed luggage, but I was just happy to see it and didn't ask.

So we headed off to catch the bus, whose stop we couldn't find. We were told where to find the bus by a handsome and friendly limo driver, and we broke into a luggage-encumbered run upon realizing that the bus was about to depart. Panting, we boarded and attempted to give our money to the bus driver, whose machine only took exact change. We spent the rest of the ride pestering our fellow passengers for change for a $20. Finally we got the change we needed and didn't have to get kicked off the bus.

After fumbling with the ticket machine, we hopped the green line and transferred to the red line and made our way to union station. From there we were picked up by the incredibly nice John G., who took us to his house where we would be staying. It was a very lovely house, even if it was in what John himself described as a “transitional“ neighborhood. “Transitional“, he informed me beforehand, translates roughly into: place-where-cab-drivers-may-refuse-to-go.

Later that evening we were joined by John‘s boyfriend Dan at a cute little street cafe type place called Mr. Henry‘s. Dan grew up in DC, and so has an encyclopedic knowledge of the city, its history, and its famous architectural residents. Later, as the 4 of us strolled through the FDR and Jackson memorials, he imparted some of that wisdom.

John G. looking like he's contemplating giving FDR's wheelchair a big foot-shove.

The Jackson Memorial with blurry ghost-like people in front of it. (The ghosts of liberty and ethical rule, perhaps?)

(My) John and I were thinking about going out that night (read: I wanted to hit the bars, given that it was Saturday night in DC-hello Eagle!-, he was beige on the issue). The problem was, in order to secure the 5 days off required for this trip, I had just finished working 2 doubles. Which meant, due to getting up early that morning to make the flight, I had gotten somewhere in the range of 9 hours of sleep out of the last 72. John, wisely, convinced me to stay home despite my whining. All I had to do was SEE a pillow and I went all narcoleptyic.

Bad blogger! BAD!

2007-05-02T20:52:00.000-07:00

I realize that I've been totally falling down on the job with my blogging duties. I do at least have a decent excuse, given that I've been on two trips out of town in as many weeks. The funny thing I'm finding about this whole having a journal thing is that when I have interesting stuff to write about, I don't have the time to do it. And when I have the time to write...I usually don't have anything interesting to write about.

So I dusted off the old palm pilot, and put it to use doing something other than tracking my workouts, so that I can do a little bit of writing while I'm away from the convenience of a computer. So I'll be blogging about things that happened a week or so ago, but it's better than not at all, right? After all, one of the big reasons to do this is so that I can look back and remember a little more vividly the stuff I've done too.

So where's OUR angry mob?

2007-04-17T12:33:00.000-07:00

So I think we can all agree that what occurred as a result of Don (SL)Imus' on-air bile-spewing was pretty much the right thing. While I hate seeing anyone's 1st amendment rights being stifled, I don‘t really think that‘s what happened in his case. What happened was capitalism. Advertisers and executives saw a cash cow‘s saggy old teets suddenly drying up, and got scared that said bovine‘s nasty little methane emissions would turn up the noses of otherwise reliable consumers. Yes, what happened was a result of public outrage and protest, but the bottom line was all about money. In this day and age incendiary hate speech is totally unacceptable, unless said speech will spark a controversy that will draw an audience that will buy advertisers' products. One of the few ways people can truly illicit change these days is by threat of voting from the hip...and by hip, I mean pocketbook.

The point being that Imus said some nasty things that were racist and sexist and people were not just offended, but offended enough to make a scene about it. And it got something done... that hideous cash cow has been put out to pasture. While I would ordinarily be happy about such a show of public decency, I can't help but draw a parallel to another public-hate-speech controversy and its eventual (but lesser) outcome.

By now most every homo has heard about the antics of Isiah Washington on the set of "House's ER Anatomy", or whatever the show is called. In case you are fortunate enough NOT to have gotten caught up the celebrity gossip circuit: Mr. Washington uttered the "F" word while in a physical altercation on the set with another cast member. No, not "fuck", but "faggot". This was said about a cast member who later came out publicly as gay, making the snotty remark a little more impactful.

So-as one would expect-gay rights groups got mad about it, and raised a stink. Enough so that he apologized...much like Don Imus did. The execs surrounding "Grey's Anatomy", however, did not fire Isaiah, despite many previous documented cases of hate speech and violence on sets. So, surely, one would expect that civil rights groups would rally against such an obvious ignorance of misbehavior. Boy, did they ever: the NAACP gave Mr. Washington an Image award, and GLAAD (Yes, that would be the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against DEFAMATION people) gave the show an award. What. The. FUCK? What's next, recognition for positive depiction of gays for that Super Bowl Snickers ad?

Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not a thin skinned person. I don't think that saying something nasty about someone should always be made a gigantic issue. In fact, quite the contrary, I think that it serves to give the loud-mouth who said it just what they want: attention (see Ann Coulter). And sometimes people just slip up and say something stupid (see Roseanne). The problem I have is this: why, after all of the civil rights struggles of the past, are us gays still the one minority group it's still ok to marginalize and malign? Why is "nappy headed ho" worse of an insult than "faggot"? And what's more, who are we supposed to rely on to right the wrongs and injustices against us, if not civil rights organizations? Can we trust them if they look the other way when encountering things they should be correcting?

So, obviously, it comes down to us. You and me, average joes. We should be voting with our pocketbooks, and fighting to make our voices heard, right? So why aren't we? Admittedly, some moronic actor spewing insults is nothing in comparison to the civil rights struggles we face with that hate monger we put in the White House. But if we can't even get organized and angry enough to make ABC/Disney think twice about letting hate speech get off easy, how will we ever keep our kind from being the constant scapegoat for religious zealots and bigots alike?

Why can't we, as a minority group, be bothered to care enough to fight for our rights? Why do we spend more time and energy on celebrity gossip and reality TV than standing up for ourselves? Why do so many of us care so much more about fashion, getting laid, and the gym than what legislation is being introduced that will push us one step furthur out onto the plank? Why would we rather vote to see who is America's next top model-actor-crooner, than on things that actually have some impact on our lives?

So I'll ask you, dear readers (yes, both of you) why do you think it is that we gay folks don't pay better attention to what's going on, and get angry enough about it to fight back? Where IS our angry mob?

(Ok, I'm off my soap-box now.)

Born to be, like, wild and stuff!

2007-04-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's what is commonly referred to as "spring fever", or maybe just the nature of our addiction to travel, but John and I have been feeling the let's-get-the-hell-outta-dodge-even-if-it's-just-for-a-day itch a lot lately. So the other day we decided to dust off our motorcycles and hit the road. We didn't have anywhere specific to go, so we headed up to Globe. (Hey, it's not the destination that's important, it's the journey).

The ride up was really nice, and quite relaxing. I sometimes forget how much I like the no radio, no cell phone, no chatter, no distractions aspect of a long ride somewhere on a motorcycle. It really lets you think...or, as is often the case with me, get some totally annoying song stuck in the random jukebox that is my head. The worst part about that is that I seem to only remember certain sections of said tunes..."...her name was Lola, she was a show girl...and..uh..something something something la la la...". Tell me that doesn't happen to you too. Go ahead and lie.

Anyway, we got kind of a late start and it started to get a little cool out...especially with whatever added wind chill factor 65 mph of velocity adds. So we stopped into a dollar store of some kind and bought these totally stylin' college-preppie-on-the-outside-lumberjack-on-the-inside shirts to add to our wind resistance.

Sportin the super styiln shirt in front of a two cars John was trying to buy.

After we ate at this place called Kelly's Brewery on Broad St. It was housed in a cute building that our waitress informed us used to be a JC Penny. The floor was all wood, and they had this HUGE and ornate wooden bar that we sat next to. Throw in a pool table, some peanuts on the floor, and a hundred or so furry, drunken bears, and it could have been the Lone Star in San Francisco. The food was good, (though we didn't exactly choose the healthiest options on the menu) and the service down-homey.

John being eclipsed by the ginormous bar thingy.

Well, there was at least ONE bear there.

Gigantic cash register or antique transforming robot with death ray? You decide.

It was nice to see that the downtown Globe area still has a little bit of the quickly dwindling small town Arizona feel to it. The streets are modernized, of course, but some of the buildings still have that early 1900's feel and look to them. One can actually picture what life might have been like back then. All around this little pocket of history, however, the usual Wal-mart brand of homogenization has occurred.

Yeah, I know, it's a church...but it's still kinda pretty.

On the ride home, we were both glad we had our fashion-forward dork shirts on. The sun was down, and the dark certainly didn't help make things any warmer.

Video Fun

2007-04-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

While this is not my favorite song that they perform, this is a rather fun video from a group that IS one of my recent favorites. In it Of Montreal animate "Wraith Pinned..." in a cutesy fun style with a little Happy Tree Friends influence thrown in for good (?) measure.

Hee hee...

2007-04-09T00:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I passed the sign for this restaurant a few hundred times in Phoenix while traversing Central Ave. I think I may have even eaten at this place a long time ago. Unfortunately, however, I never noticed the truly awesome tag line until John pointed it out as we were driving by it last week. He wants a T-shirt with that logo & motto on it now.

Random Beef #3 (Big, sweaty, liftin mens edition)

2007-04-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only homo in the world who likes watching The World's Strongest Man competitions...with a box of tissues nearby. (I'm kidding...mostly.) They'll occasionally show these sweat, grunt, and flex-fests on ESPN 2, (you know, when they take time out from their busy poker, bowling, and professional eating contest lineup to show something that actually takes a little bit of *gasp!* athleticism).

Needless to say, there is never a shortage of beefcake in any of the aforementioned contests. This episode's Random Beef is no exception. Don Pope, from what I could find out, has only been in a few WSMs, and hasn't ever won. But with a big, woofy smile like that, who cares?

The first rule about embarrassingly obtained injuries is: you don't talk about embarrassingly obtained injuries!

2007-04-03T00:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so John didn't win our latest round of husband boxing...nor did I get in a gritty bar fight...nor did I even lose control of some ridiculous amount of weight I was attempting to hoist at the gym. No, the real culprit for this little beauty is far more embarrassing: a general lack of grace or cat-like reflexes. Not that I've ever been accused of having said qualities, but they certainly would help me to look a little less like a Judo class' sparring dummy.

The other culprit, you see, is my job. Which I love dearly, don't get me wrong. It's just that I need to learn how to navigate the inherent dangers a little better. For those who don't know, I'm one of those little guys you see scurrying about underneath you when your plane pulls into it's destination. I "download" (read "toss") your incoming bags, "upload" (read "heave") your outgoing bags , and "push out" ( read "drive a $40 million aircraft via a tow-bar attatched to a golf cart on steriods") your plane from its gate so that it can taxi out onto the runway safely. I'm what they call a Ramp Agent.

Part of a Ramp Agent's duties also include driving your incoming bags to a place where they can be put onto a conveyor belt that magically delivers them to you, the passenger, at Baggage Claim. This job in particular is both more simple, and more complicated than it would seem. Simple, because you're really just tossing bags onto a moving belt from a stationary cart. Complicated because it's very easy to jam the system, and the conveyor is filled with delicate sensors that attempt to prevent such an occurrence. If any jam-like conditions are found to exist...WOOP! WOOP! WOOP!...an alarm goes off. Bags piling atop one another like methed-out party tweakers at a clothing optional pool party? WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! Bags too close together? WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! Bag riding along with too high of a profile? WOOP! WOOP! WOOP! Accidentally fart a little too close to one of the sensors? WOO...well, you get the idea.

I tell you all this because, in the event of an alarm, one has to crawl down into the system and fix said problem. Which is made more fun, because the crawl space is something even a petite dwarf would have trouble navigating. So a couple days ago I had just finished loading the last bag onto the belt, and then...

System Alarm: WOOP! WOOP! WOOP!

Me: "Fuck."

Thus it was time to traverse the mouse trap to try and fix the problem. I couldn't get in via the normal rolling door, so I had to crawl in from the side that you would normally huddle around as you wait to pounce on your bag, should it shoot out. I had another flight waiting for me, so I was in a hurry...and irritated at this (self-caused) delay to getting to it. Hastily, I ape-walked my way into the tunnel to try and find the cause of the problem. But the door on that side wouldn't open either.

Me: "FUCK!"

It's now that I should mention that I always wear a baseball-cap type hat at work to keep the sun off my noggin. I wear it pulled down kinda low, so that the brim shields my eyes from bright light of day. The brim thus blocks my view of anything above eyebrow level. Including the big, concrete support braces that horizontally line the ceiling of the tiny corridor I was crawling in.

My head (upon swiftly meeting said concrete structure): "BAM!"

Me: "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!!"

After the sparkly things had cleared from my eyes, I picked myself up off the belt. Gathering the sunglasses that had come out of my shirt pocket, I felt a trickle of something on my brow. I rose my forearm to my forehead. Yup, blood. Goody. I rushed-albeit a bit more carefully this time-the rest of the way up the belt so I could let the Baggage Rep know that I couldn't find the source of the problem.

Our Bag Rep is this really sweet, and totally flaming, 40-something guy from somewhere in the south. I rushed over to let him know to call my supervisor so he could see about fixing the problem with the belt system. I also vaguely mentioned smacking my melon in a totally no-big-deal-but-kinda-funny-to-share sort of way.

Him: "Ok, sure. I'll go ahead and...YAA! YUU! YOU'RE BLEEDING!"

Me: "I know, I know...I'm fine...do me a favor and please call the supe so he can fix the belt?"

I really didn't want my head thing to be a big issue. I was totally pissed at myself for not paying attention, and totally embarrassed too. I really didn't want too much of anyone to know about it, if it could be helped. I'd rather just hide it under my hat and sneak it by every...

Him (on his radio, sounding panicked): "Ramp supe, we need you to come see about the belt, it ain't workin'...and we have an injury here!"

Great. So much for that idea.

So everyone found out, and I had to tell them how it happened, and for the next few days I got to hear "Don't hit your head on that *snicker*" in just about every situation. So my head's bruised, my ego a little more so, and I think I learned a valuable lesson: hide your embarrassing wounds from excitable co-workers.

Oh, and be more careful around head-level things that are made of a material more impact resistant than your skull.

Random Beef #2 (viedo edition)

2007-04-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

John somehow ran across this on the web the other day. It's Russian (we think) and fun to look at!

Blood, guts, & the fantastic abs that encase them

2007-03-31T00:38:00.000-07:00

So John and I went to a double feature at the Foothills theater the other day. They have this really sweet deal there, you see, where one can get into two (or even three, if you're really dedicated) movies for the price of one. They just don't know about it, fortunately enough.

We decided that our initial film would be the one that has many of the gays atwitter...but since "Bad Bear Truckers" wasn't playing there, we saw "300" instead. The movie (like you didn't already know) focuses on ancient Sparta (where, apparently, there was a magical well of steroid water and a Gold's Gym) defending itself from the Persian army (who, I didn't realize, were led by a fierce drag princess). The hot 'n' beefy king of Sparta leads his army on a mission to fend off the hoards of angry stereotypes despite not getting approval from blah blah blah...the important thing you need to know is that there is lots of beefcake to be seen pretty much in every other shot.

The thing that I also never realized about the Spartans was that they were cursed by the ancient god Metrosexuous to be able to grow hot, thick beards on their handsome faces, but not a single hair on their uber-muscular bodies. Anywhere. At all. Not that I studied or inspected every bit of exposed man-flesh that one could see through the Spartans' special warrior armor (read: leather underwear and a cape), cause I didn't...ever stop.

The woofy Gerard Butler manages to protect himself from the driving rain while keeping his bulging pecs perfectly dry.

Anyway, the movie (aside from making me yearn to hit the gym about 50 times harder) was pretty entertaining overall. It was a lot more violent and gore-filled than I was expecting, but given that it was directed by Zack Snyder who helmed the awesome remake of "Dawn of The Dead" (which sent my irrational zombie fear to a whole new level of crazy) I should have anticipated as such. One area I was a little disappointed in was the visual effects. Don't get me wrong, the visuals were incredible and some even beautiful, but they weren't nearly as adventurous as that other Frank-Miller-graphic-novel-adaptation "Sin City". Given that that film took some pride in exploiting the comic book genre's diverse visual abilities, with very entertaining and visually enticing effect, I expected some of the same chances to be taken with this film. One of the only moments that really lived up to that expectation, for me, was the cool animation sequence that they used for the closing credits.

As for the homophobic slant that many feel the movie had going on, one could certainly see where that idea would come from. There is a part where the Spartan king insults the Athenians by calling them "boy lovers", and the main villain looks like he does his eyebrows with a sharpie and wears more tacky jewelry than Mr. T. I will say, however, that I think that the latter has more to do with just trying to come up with a way to make said villain look creepy and unnatural. I guess when all else fails make him androgynous, which will make him look that much weirder in comparison to the super-butch hero. The "boy lover" comment-presumably referring to the ancient Greek practice of older men taking in younger boys as their...uh..."special" trainees-I'm guessing was to try and make us think that such a practice was not used in Sparta. The guys only train semi-nude together...and hug and embrace a lot between battles. All of this, along with the new and creative ways in which the king's queen's cleavage was displayed in every shot of her, I'm guessing was meant to be like the bikini-clad girl that they trot out between rounds during a Ultimate Fighting Championship match. Despite the fact that we're watching these hot studs roll around on the floor with each other, sweaty and underwear-clad, these girls are supposed to snap us back to a hetero-centric world. Cause they sure wouldn't want any of the guys who convince themselves that they watch said sporting event strictly for the...uh...sport of it, to let their minds wander to questions like "What if they weren't wearing anything at all...and were rolling around, sweaty together on the floor NOT beating the living shit out of each other?"

So the 2nd feature wound up being "The Hills Have Eyes 2". In it, a troop of National Guardsfolk try to battle an encampment of people who are descended from that "Sloth" guy in "The Goonies"...but with a penchant for slaughter and mayhem. I won't bore you with another full on review, I'll just say this...it's a sequel, that's actually a remake...yes, that's right, a sequel-remake. Also it tends to lean more to gross-out gore for scares then actual suspense. Despite all that, it's decent, and has a few (intentionally and unintentionally) funny moments to balance out the gore.

All in all, a bloody good double matinée! (Sorry, couldn't help myself)

Random Beef

2007-03-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

One of the things I definitely intend on doing with this blog, as alluded to in my 1st post, is the the exhibition of some good old fashioned eye candy. Specifically, I want to have beef that's geared a bit more toward my tastes than what one usually finds on a gay blog (ie. Big, beefy, hairy, older dudes NOT the skinny, hairless guys who look like they really ought to be in wood-shop, instead of...uh...shopping for wood).

My dilemma was in how to present the feature of said hot gentlemen. I thought that a "beef-o-the-day" would be really great, but I know me...and I wouldn't be nearly regular enough (no fiber comments, please). Then I thought that a weekly feature would be fun, like "Beefcake Tuesdays" or something. But that's way too regimented for me. So I settled on "Random Beef". Because what's more fun than getting surprised by coming to the blog, not knowing when to expect some fresh hotness?

So without further ado...

Today's Random Beef is Pride(?) Fighter Jeff Monson

Homer's pizza-Jimbo-lotteria-brownie extravaganza!

2007-03-27T06:17:00.000-07:00

As usual, I'm suffering from my way-too-early-in-the-morning insomnia thing. The weird thing is that it's always from being hungry. My grumbling stomach wakes me up and keeps me that way until I find something in the pantry to satisfy its greedy little pangs. So I thought this would be the perfect time to make my 2nd ever blog-post.

So last night we went over to Homer's place for a little pizza party thing he was hosting in honor of his friend Jimbo's last night in town. I was a little surprised at first when Homer said the main course would be pizza, given his DIY culinary leanings. I thought "will it be delivery, or DiGorno?". I shouldn't have been the least bit surprised, however that his pizzas were not only delicious, but made from scratch (yes, even the dough as far as I could tell). Said Homer-made treats (he coined the phrase, I can't take credit) were followed up by an awesome brownie and ice cream dessert.

After gorging on the pizza, we all played Mexican bingo (AKA Lotteria). I'm ashamed to say that despite being the only person with Mexican lineage there (yes, I'm making assumptions) I'd never really heard of it. Not only that, but everyone else's Spanish interpretations of the words on the cards were far beyond my "Donde esta el bano?" level of Spanish vocabulary. BAD half-Mexican. BAD!

Those who won at the lotteria were given fun prizes. I won twice, for which I got a plastic farm animal set (I heard that snicker, you), and a toy beauty set, which I traded for a do-rag. Homer's blog currently has the least-flattering-photo-ever of me in said article, go check it out...good times. John won, like, four times. He brought home a treasure-trove of goodies.

Since I'm not sure yet how to do captions, I'll put them up here as according to the photos:

1. The cards on which one plays Mexican bingo.

2. Perfect host Homer playing "Julie" (the social director of our cruise).

3. My little furball, likely laughing about embittering those who he won more than.

4. Adorable sweetheart Jimbo, showing off some of his prizes.

5. Wise guy Patrick showing humble respect to his Virgin Mary night light.

It's my first time...please don't be gentle.

2007-03-27T00:25:00.000-07:00

So I thought I'd try to be cool like all the other kids out there in internet-land and try out this whole blogging thing. Problem is, it's about 12:30 am and I can't really think of anything pithy or clever to post. So, I suppose, it's like the first time at alot of things then...awkward, stumbling and not quite what you were hoping for.

So, am I supposed to start out with a mission statement, or a prime directive of my plans for posting? Too nerdy, or not nerdy enough?

Should I make this my arena for posting hot beefcake and sundry related items (as per the name)? Should it be my political soap box for my leftist, godless rantings? Or should I just post my every day meanderings to see if anyone out there would actually be so bored as to read about them?

I guess, for now, I'll say yes. To all of the above. But mostly I'll just try to actually post (any) stuff on a more than yearly basis. That sounds like a deal I can almost certainly (maybe) keep with myself.